Winter Olympics To Protest Trump’s Immigration Policies By Removing Ice From Skating Rinks
MILAN — The most prestigious athletic event on the world stage issued a clear political statement this week, as…
Category: Babylon Bee
Man Worried He May Go His Entire Life Without Mastering The Ancient Art Of Nunchaku
LITTLE ROCK, AK — As Darren Phillips pulled himself out of bed on Thursday morning, it became apparent to…
Frank From Accounting In Epstein Files For Some Reason
DUBUQUE, IA — Employees at Midwest Windows Inc. were reportedly uncomfortable to learn that Frank from accounting was mentioned…
To Make Games Fair, MLB Will Now Have Managers Line Everyone Up And Pick Teams Before Each Game
NEW YORK, NY. — As teams and fans alike gear up for the start of a new baseball season,…
Politicians Hoping National Prayer Breakfast Wraps Up In Time For Coke Orgy Lunch
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As lawmakers and other notable figures gathered once again for the annual solemn occasion to petition…
10 Ways To Come Out As A Conservative To Your Liberal Parents
Our current society can have trouble showing acceptance — especially to conservatives. If you’re a young conservative who has…
‘The Injuns Are A-Comin!’ Cries Billie Eilish Loading Musket To Defend Home From Tribe Of Redskins
LOS ANGELES, CA — According to sources, American singer-songwriter Billie Eilish successfully defended her land from members of the…
Minecraft Introduces Peaceful Protesters And OH NO THEY’VE BURNED DOWN THE VILLAGE
REDMOND, WA — Peaceful social justice leaders have come to the world of Minecraft to educate gamers about peaceful…
‘UNO: Even More Brutal Edition’ Comes With Card That SWATs Your Family Members And Has Them Arrested On False Charges
U.S. — Mattel has announced the release of “Uno: Even More Brutal Edition” which will include cards that SWAT…
Suspicious: Voter ID Bill Defeated In Senate By Vote Of 7 Million To 53
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Suspicions arose in Congress after a bill to require voter ID failed in the Senate by…