Man Smokes Cigar In Desperate Hope To Feel Sick And Become Unattractive To Wife
HOUSTON, TX — Local man Matthew Coggins lit up a cigar this afternoon in a bid to feel terribly…
Category: Babylon Bee
10 Ways To Honor Chuck Norris
Action hero and martial arts master Chuck Norris has departed from this world to fight supernatural forces in the…
Confirmed: In His Final Days, Charlie Kirk Came To Agree With Whatever You Believe
U.S. — Following an extensive study that involved gathering information from all internet users, influencers, and podcasters, it has…
California Abandons $250 Billion Study On Why It Has So Many Unfinished Projects
SACRAMENTO, CA — California’s $250 billion study looking into why it has so many unfinished projects was abandoned while…
Theologians Believe Every Meal In Heaven Is Ice Cream In A Miniature Baseball Helmet
NOTRE DAME, IN — After a thought-provoking roundtable discussion, theologians at the University of Notre Dame concluded that every…
Newsom Allocates $900 Million For Black Bear Porta-Potties
SACRAMENTO, CA — Governor Gavin Newsom announced the signing of an executive order that allocates over $900 million of…
Gavin Newsom’s 10 Biggest Accomplishments
California owes a lot to Governor Gavin Newsom. So much, in fact, that it’s hard to narrow down his…
Tucker Carlson Loses On ‘Wheel Of Fortune’ After Guessing ‘Israel’ On Every Puzzle
LOS ANGELES, CA — Podcaster Tucker Carlson appeared as a guest on the popular game show Wheel of Fortune…
MLB Introduces Popular New Rule Where Umps Who Get More Than 3 Calls Overturned Are Jettisoned Into The Sun
U.S. — Ahead of Opening Day next week, Major League Baseball announced a new permanent rule where umpires who…
California Celebrates Installation Of Single L.A. Trash Can That Cost $400 Billion And Took 18 Years To Build
LOS ANGELES, CA — California state and city officials gathered with residents on Thursday to celebrate the opening of…