Meet the Unsung Hero Who Makes Sure Every Space Mission Doesn’t Have a Stowaway Axe Murderer
CAPE CANAVERAL, FL — Russell Patrick has been doing the same job for NASA for over 50 years, though…
Category: Babylon Bee
Elon Musk Launches Emergency Rescue Plumber To Repair Artemis’ Toilet
CAPE CANAVERAL, FL — NASA issued a statement on Thursday confirming that Elon Musk had launched an emergency rescue…
What A Moron: Judas Dips Bread In Bowl Right After Jesus Says ‘The One Who Dips The Bread In The Bowl Will Betray Me’
JERUSALEM — Witnesses revealed that total idiot Judas Iscariot dipped his bread in the bowl with Jesus mere seconds…
8 Amazing Features Of Trump’s Proposed Presidential Library
Though Donald Trump will leave office after a new president is elected in 2028, his legacy will live on…
Chicago Bulls Offer To Reinstate Jayden Ivey If He Will Do Some Cocaine And Beat A Few Women
CHICAGO, IL — After releasing Jayden Ivey over his statements about the unrighteousness of Pride month, the Chicago Bulls…
In Compelling Argument For Birthright Citizenship, Justice Jackson Eats Entire Stick Of Glue
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a persuasive argument in favor of maintaining birthright citizenship, Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson ate an…
Kristi Noem Asks Husband If There’s Anything He Needs To Get Off His Chest
WASHINGTON, D.C. — After scandalous photos surfaced online of her husband Bryon, former Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kristi…
Trump Sneaks Onto Supreme Court Bench Cleverly Disguised As Justice Sotomayor
WASHINGTON, D.C. — With the Supreme Court hearing arguments today over birthright citizenship, President Trump cleverly snuck his way…
NASA Plays Incredible April Fools’ Joke Of Once Again Pretending To Go To The Moon
MERRITT ISLAND, FL — In one of the biggest April Fools’ jokes in decades, NASA is pretending once again…
KBJ: ‘How Can A Law Be Unconstitutional If I Like It?’
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As the United States Supreme Court issued a decisive ruling on a controversial case in Colorado…