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Category: Babylon Bee

Babylon Bee

Local Fan Way More Invested In Success Of Team Than Players On Actual Team Are

FinnMay 12, 2026

    SAN DIEGO, CA — The San Diego Padres organization is reportedly concerned about local sports fan Lonny Philbin for…

Babylon Bee

China Visit Off To Rough Start After Trump Demands To Negotiate Directly With General Tso

FinnMay 12, 2026

    BEIJING — Diplomatic talks between the United States and China reportedly got off to an awkward start after President…

Babylon Bee

‘The View’ Announces All-New Cast Of Angry, Middle-Aged Women

FinnMay 12, 2026

    U.S. — Longtime daytime talk show “The View” has announced that next season will feature an all-new cast of…

Babylon Bee

In Spite Of Novelty Sign, God Declines To Bless This Mess

FinnMay 12, 2026

    TAMPA, FL — Heavenly sources have announced that the Almighty has declined to “Bless This Mess” in spite of…

Babylon Bee

WebMD Adds Convenient ‘Draft My Last Will And Testament’ Option

FinnMay 12, 2026

    U.S. — As part of ongoing efforts to empower the patient, medical website WebMD has added a convenient “Draft…

Babylon Bee

Karen Bass Endorsed By California Wildfires

FinnMay 12, 2026

    LOS ANGELES, CA — Mayor Karen Bass received a glowing endorsement from California wildfires over the weekend, with thousands…

Babylon Bee

Woman Healed Of Liberalism After Touching Golden Trump Statue

FinnMay 11, 2026

    MIAMI, FL — A newly christened golden statue of President Donald Trump may have healing powers, as sources confirmed…

Babylon Bee

Ew, A Gross Disgusting Bug — What, Why Did You Kill It, YOU MONSTER! — Op-Ed By Wife

FinnMay 11, 2026

    You won’t believe what my husband just did. There was this horrible looking bug — I don’t know what…

Babylon Bee

Goodyear Blimp Barely Recognizable After Going On Ozempic

FinnMay 11, 2026

    CARSON, CA — The famous Goodyear Blimp has become nearly unrecognizable after starting the popular weight-loss drug Ozempic.   CARSON,…

Babylon Bee

‘There, It Couldn’t Be More Clear,’ Announces John After Finishing Revelation

FinnMay 11, 2026

    PATMOS — The Apostle John emerged from his cave earlier this week feeling confident that he couldn’t have been…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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