Family Leaving Church After Finding Out Pastor Pronounces ‘Wash’ Like ‘Worsh’
GILBERT, AZ — According to sources, a family of church visitors left services almost immediately on Sunday after the…
Category: Babylon Bee
Wife Interrupts Own Story With Another Story
SALT LAKE CITY, UT — Local wife Rebecca Gadsen interrupted a story she was telling her husband to begin…
Peter Trying To Explain To John The Baptist He Doesn’t Have To Eat Bugs Anymore
HEAVEN — Old habits from life on Earth seemed to be challenging to break, as reports from Heaven indicated…
Next Halftime Show To Be Performed Entirely In Sindarin Elvish
U.S. — In an effort to expand the global market for American football, the National Football League announced on…
Lindsey Vonn Announces She Has Joined The U.S. Paralympics Team
CORTINA D’AMPEZZO — After suffering a nasty fall on the slopes during the women’s downhill competition, American skier Lindsey…
Alarming Study Shows Average Somali High School Senior In Minnesota Committing Fraud At Just A 5th Grade Level
EDINA, MN — An alarming new study of Minnesota schools revealed that the average Somali high school senior is…
Pharmaceutical Companies Wondering If They Should Develop Anti-Depressant Whose First Listed Side Effect Isn’t ‘SEVERE THOUGHTS OF SUICIDE’
U.S. — Researchers at the nation’s leading pharmaceutical companies are reportedly having second thoughts about their manufacturing methods for…
World Gathers To Watch A Bunch Of Sports And Also Figure Skating
WORLD — The 2026 Winter Olympics marks the 25th time that the world has gathered together to watch a…
Japanese Prime Minister Wins Landslide Victory After Promising To Introduce Forks
TOKYO — A new page in history was turned in the Far East this week, with the newly elected…
Support For ICE Skyrockets To 99% After Halftime Show
SANTA CLARA, CA – Following this year’s Super Bowl halftime show featuring the musical stylings of Bad Bunny, surveys…