Idiot Tries To Rob Bank In Gotham City, Where Batman Lives
GOTHAM CITY — A foolish thief found himself in the hospital recovering from a dislocated shoulder, a fractured wrist,…
Category: Babylon Bee
Report Reveals Biden Allowed Over 2,000,000 Flood Lifeforms Across Southern Border
U.S — According to a Department of Homeland Security report, former President Joe Biden’s soft border policies allowed 2,000,000…
Toddler Clocks In For Another Long Day Working In The Play Kitchen
COLORADO SPRINGS, CO — Local toddler Wyatt Carlson clocked in for another long day working at the play kitchen…
Newsom Recounts Tough Childhood Where He Got In One Little Fight And Was Forced To Move In With His Auntie And Uncle In Bel-Air
LOS ANGELES, CA — California Governor Gavin Newsom gave voters a rare glimpse into his tragic story while appearing…
Scandal As Blue Jays Test Positive For Performance-Enhancing Maple Syrup
TORONTO — Scandal has rocked the baseball world as shortly after their 11-4 World Series victory, several members of the…
Jets Starting To Wonder If They Should Try A Different Sport
NEW YORK CITY — The New York Jets have begun wondering if perhaps they should try some other sport besides…
Man Achieves Lifelong Dream Of Being In Boarding Group 2
ATLANTA, GA — Traveler Dale Galveston achieved a lifelong dream of boarding a plane in Boarding Group 2 at the…
Congress Reassures Nation Government Shutdown Will Not Affect Paychecks For Congress
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Amid an ongoing government shutdown, members of the U.S. Congress reassured the American public on Thursday that…
Worse And Worse: Platner Also Has A Nickelback Tattoo
AUGUSTA, ME — Things have gone from bad to worse for Democratic Senate hopeful Graham Platner, who was revealed to…
White House Construction Crew Finds 1,357 More Cocaine Stashes
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Construction workers tasked with building a new White House Ballroom reportedly discovered 1,357 stashes of cocaine hidden…