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Category: Babylon Bee

Babylon Bee

Mom Needs You To Come Over And Fix Whatever She Did To The TV

FinnNovember 18, 2025

    U.S. — According to sources, your mom just called because she desperately needs to talk to you. She needs…

Babylon Bee

Troubling New Survey Shows 90 Percent Of Graduating High School Seniors Don’t Know The Airspeed Velocity Of An Unladen Swallow

FinnNovember 18, 2025

    PALO ALTO, CA — A startling new study out of Stanford University shows almost all graduating high school seniors…

Babylon Bee

Scholars Now Believe Number Of The Beast Is Actually 67

FinnNovember 17, 2025

    JERUSALEM — In a development which many see as an irrefutable sign of the impeding end times, biblical scholars…

Babylon Bee

Flintstones Vitamins With Ozempic Now Available For Fat Kids

FinnNovember 17, 2025

    MORRISTOWN, NJ — Drug manufacturer Bayer announced this week that they are releasing their popular Flintstones vitamins with added…

Babylon Bee

Teenager Struggling To Stay Awake After Only Getting 14 Hours Of Sleep

FinnNovember 17, 2025

    MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Sources say local teenager Ben Jackson was really struggling to stay awake the day after only…

Babylon Bee

New Dad-GPT Just Responds To All Queries With “OK”

FinnNovember 17, 2025

    SILICON VALLEY, CA — AI has become more lifelike than ever before, say advance users of OpenAI’s new “Dad-GPT,”…

Babylon Bee

After Latest Head Injury, Fetterman Announces He’s Joining Whig Party

FinnNovember 17, 2025

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — After suffering yet another head injury, Senator John Fetterman announced he was joining the Whig Party.…

Babylon Bee

8 Ways Trump Is Exactly Like Moses

FinnNovember 16, 2025

    You may think President Trump has little in common with Moses from the Old Testament, but you’d be wrong.…

Babylon Bee

Millions Convert To Christianity After Theologians Confirm There Is No Microsoft Teams In Heaven

FinnNovember 16, 2025

    WORLD — In an event the likes of which haven’t been seen in decades, millions of people converted to…

Babylon Bee

In Devastating Blow, Newly Released Emails Reveal Trump Not Well-Liked By Pedophile

FinnNovember 15, 2025

    U.S. – In a huge blow to President Trump, newly released emails indicate that he was not well-liked by…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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