Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Category: Elephant Reads CNN

Northwestern U caves to Trump, coughs up $75M for thawed cash
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Northwestern U caves to Trump, coughs up $75M for thawed cash

Big ElephantNovember 29, 2025November 29, 2025

Another Woke University Caves to Trump! Northwestern Univesity had $790 million in federal funding frozen and now are forced to…

CNN Asks: Zelensky Has a ‘Blind Spot’ For Corruption? No Way
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Asks: Zelensky Has a ‘Blind Spot’ For Corruption? No Way

Big ElephantNovember 29, 2025November 29, 2025

Another day, another Deep State drama! Zelensky’s buddy gets raided, probably for having too much Ukrainian Hryvnia and not enough…

Oops! US Military Did a Whoopsie: Double Tapped a ‘Totally Not a Drug Boat’ (Again!)
Another Win for Trump: Eliminating Narco-Terrorists, One Boat at a Time!
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Oops! US Military Did a Whoopsie: Double Tapped a ‘Totally Not a Drug Boat’ (Again!)

Big ElephantNovember 28, 2025November 28, 2025

Another boatload of scumbag narcoterrorists bites the dust thanks to President Trump’s decisive action! The liberal media, of course, is…

Tunisian Choir’s Epic Journey: From Revolution to Random Renditions, Thousands of Miles for a Gig
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Tunisian Choir’s Epic Journey: From Revolution to Random Renditions, Thousands of Miles for a Gig

Big ElephantNovember 28, 2025November 28, 2025

Oh, great, another feel-good story from CNN about the “Arab Spring,” likely funded by Soros himself! Tunisia88, a choir born…

Prepare to Pay More for Your Precious Pasta, You Utter Carb-Loading Addicts
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Prepare to Pay More for Your Precious Pasta, You Utter Carb-Loading Addicts

Big ElephantNovember 28, 2025November 28, 2025

Oh, the horror! The liberal media is at it again, trying to blame President Trump for the rising cost of……

AI Data Centers Spark State Cage Fight
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

AI Data Centers Spark State Cage Fight

Big ElephantNovember 28, 2025November 28, 2025

The liberal lunacy continues! Now they’re blaming data centers for high energy costs! You can’t make this stuff up, folks.…

Surviving the Post-Holiday Travel Apocalypse (Brought to You By Weather)
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Surviving the Post-Holiday Travel Apocalypse (Brought to You By Weather)

Big ElephantNovember 28, 2025November 28, 2025

Another “dangerous” storm, folks! CNN is at it again, hyping up some weather to scare you silly. Probably dreamt up…

Orbán and Putin’s Bro-Date in Moscow: Trump Card Fuels Hungary’s Gas-Guzzling Adventure
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Orbán and Putin’s Bro-Date in Moscow: Trump Card Fuels Hungary’s Gas-Guzzling Adventure

Big ElephantNovember 28, 2025November 28, 2025

Another day, another globalist conspiracy thwarted by the genius of President Trump! CNN is clutching its pearls because our favorite…

Nazi Germany Had Resistors? Shocker!
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Nazi Germany Had Resistors? Shocker!

Big ElephantNovember 28, 2025November 28, 2025

Oh, CNN, always finding new ways to bash Israel, aren’t they? “Beirut is used to war,” some “expert” says on…

Witkoff: Putin’s Unofficial Life Coach, According to Ex-Ukrainian FM (LOL) | CNN
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Witkoff: Putin’s Unofficial Life Coach, According to Ex-Ukrainian FM (LOL) | CNN

Big ElephantNovember 27, 2025November 27, 2025

Another day, another desperate attempt by the failing CNN to smear our glorious President Trump! This time, they’re peddling a…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 99 100 101 … 277 Next

Latest posts

  • Emmure in Charlotte, NC (06/18/2026)
  • 10 Questions On California’s Test To Determine If You’re Gay Enough
  • Breaking Sad: When Your Metal Bro Crosses the Line
  • Al Gore Explains That While ‘An Inconvenient Truth’ Did Not Prove Accurate, It Did Make Him Incredibly Rich
  • BREAKING OZZY OSBOURNE Just Got a Statue and Now He’s Officially More Metal Than Your Entire Existence At Hellfest 2026

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
June 2026
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930  
« May    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}