Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Category: Elephant Reads CNN

Judge tells DOJ to chill with the Lemonade stand tantrum, says no charges for Don Lemon
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Judge tells DOJ to chill with the Lemonade stand tantrum, says no charges for Don Lemon

Big ElephantJanuary 22, 2026January 22, 2026

Another day, another liberal “journalist” trying to play the victim card after getting caught red-handed inciting chaos. Don Lemon, the…

Minnesota Doctor “ICE” Ice Out Hospitals Like a Vigilante with a Clipboard
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Minnesota Doctor “ICE” Ice Out Hospitals Like a Vigilante with a Clipboard

Big ElephantJanuary 22, 2026January 22, 2026

LIBERAL DOCTORS IN MINNESOTA ARE WHINING THAT PATRIOTIC ICE AGENTS ARE KEEPING OUR HOSPITALS SAFE FROM CRIMINAL ILLEGAL ALIENS! It’s…

Ex-ICE Boss Defends Memo That Lets Agents Kick Down Doors Without a Warrant, Says It’s Just a Fun Little Government Prank
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Ex-ICE Boss Defends Memo That Lets Agents Kick Down Doors Without a Warrant, Says It’s Just a Fun Little Government Prank

Big ElephantJanuary 22, 2026January 22, 2026

Finally, ICE Agents Can Protect Our Borders Without Radical Leftist Judges Interfering! It’s about time our brave ICE agents got…

The Odds: Major Winter Storm Takes One Look at 1,500-Mile Stretch of Country, Says ‘Yeah, That’ll Do’
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

The Odds: Major Winter Storm Takes One Look at 1,500-Mile Stretch of Country, Says ‘Yeah, That’ll Do’

Big ElephantJanuary 22, 2026January 22, 2026

BREAKING: leftist Weather Channel and their Deep State meteorologists at CNN are at it again, folks, trying to scare hard-working…

Consumers Keep Swiping Despite Prices That Are Just Vibes Now
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Consumers Keep Swiping Despite Prices That Are Just Vibes Now

Big ElephantJanuary 22, 2026January 22, 2026

Under President Trump’s magnificent leadership, the American economy is absolutely booming, proving once again that only he can save us…

Jamie Dimon Hesitates to Criticize Trump… Until the Billionaire Remembers He Has a Wallet
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Jamie Dimon Hesitates to Criticize Trump… Until the Billionaire Remembers He Has a Wallet

Big ElephantJanuary 21, 2026January 21, 2026

Well, well, well. Look who finally decided to show up at Davos. Jamie Dimon, the so-called “King of Wall Street,”…

Newsom Trolls Trump in Davos, So the President Hit Back With the Maturity of a 12-Year-Old on Xbox Live
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Newsom Trolls Trump in Davos, So the President Hit Back With the Maturity of a 12-Year-Old on Xbox Live

Big ElephantJanuary 21, 2026January 21, 2026

GLOBALIST DAVOS ELITES SEETHING AS PRESIDENT TRUMP AMERICAS FIRST ALPHA MALE DOMINATES WORLD STAGE The World Economic Forum in Davos,…

Trump Chickens Out of Invading Greenland Because He Finally Looked at a Map
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Chickens Out of Invading Greenland Because He Finally Looked at a Map

Big ElephantJanuary 21, 2026January 21, 2026

President Donald J. Trump, in a majestic display of sheer dominance and strategic genius, announces that he will graciously refrain…

Spain gets a sequel, because nothing says “functioning infrastructure” like déjà vu on rails
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Spain gets a sequel, because nothing says “functioning infrastructure” like déjà vu on rails

Big ElephantJanuary 21, 2026January 21, 2026

Another Spanish Train Wreck Proves Globalism is Derailing the World! While Our Rail System is Strong and Beautiful, Europe’s Failing…

Michelle Obama Says US Moving Toward Having a Woman President Because Apparently, We’re Finally Ready to Trade the Nuclear Codes for a Color-Coordinated Outfit Scheme
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Michelle Obama Says US Moving Toward Having a Woman President Because Apparently, We’re Finally Ready to Trade the Nuclear Codes for a Color-Coordinated Outfit Scheme

Big ElephantJanuary 21, 2026January 21, 2026

Michelle Obama Suddenly Discovers America Wants a Woman President—Is It Just in Time for the 2028 Deep State Shuffle? Well,…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 135 136 137 … 343 Next

Latest posts

  • Trump’s Alternative Facts Meet Actual Reality Again
  • Ted Lasso Season 4 Falls Short Again
  • Evanescence in Charlotte, NC (08/04/2026)
  • Spokane Man Arrested For Possibly Burning Down His Own Neighborhood
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social August 5 2026

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.