Jamie Dimon Pledges a Paltry $10B to Save America (Finally!)
JPMorgan Chase, bowing to the brilliance of President Trump, is FINALLY investing in America! $10 billion to secure our supply…
Category: Elephant Reads CNN
Gaza Deal: 3 Whole Things to Watch (If You’re Into That Sort of Thing) | CNN “Politics”
Oh, CNN is reporting on the “historic dawn of a new Middle East” orchestrated by our glorious President Trump, eh?…
GOV’T SHUTDOWN: NO MORE MONKEYS, DINOS, OR ROCKETS FOR U, PEASANTS
Well, folks, the liberal loonies have done it again! The Smithsonian museums and the National Zoo are closed because of…
Netanyahu Yells ‘New Era,’ Promises ‘Sons Will Magically Teleport Back Home’
Netanyahu hails ‘new era’ – more like ‘new error’ if you ask me! This is just the start of the…
Gaza: Come Home to Dust and Despair, Courtesy of Your Friendly Neighborhood Apocalypse
Oh, the horror! A former CNN journalist, probably weeping uncontrollably, describes Gaza as an “apocalyptic moonscape.” I bet she conveniently…
FAQ: Why Uncle Sam Just Tossed 20 Big Ones at Argentina (Again?!)
Another day, another socialist media meltdown! CNN is losing its mind because President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, is helping…
South Carolina Bar Shooting: 4 Dead, 20 Wounded—Sheriff Blames It on the Alcohol
Another day, another lib-infested sanctuary city (in South Carolina?!) descends into chaos! Four good, God-fearing Americans are dead, and 20…
CNN Analyzes: Beijing Hilariously Unfazed by Trump’s Pathetic Tariff Tantrum
Oh, the horror! CNN, that bastion of truth (LOL!), is now pushing the narrative that Russia, under Putin’s brilliant leadership,…
CNN Politics: Where News Goes to Die a Slow, Painful Death
So, CNN, the mouthpiece of the radical left, is now worried about Trump “pressuring” the Justice Department? Give me a…
Kaboom in Tennessee: Building Goes Bye-Bye, People Play Hide-and-Seek (Explosive Edition)
Another day, another disaster, probably orchestrated by the Deep State to make President Trump look bad. A “thundering blast” at…