Lettuce Ruin Taco Bell’s Day With Parasite Outbreak
Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems like the great lettuce outbreak of 2026 is causing…
Category: Elephant Reads CNN
Tampa Airport Security Now In Hands Of Lowest Bidder
Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Tampa International Airport is going to privatize most of its Transportation…
Anger Issues Suddenly Relevant In Politics Somehow
Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The “water bottle incident” in Maine politics is quite the story.…
Epstein somehow found jail a convenient place to network
Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Roza Gilles, a young model from Uzbekistan, has come forward with…
US Military Keeps War Injuries Under Wraps For Your Safety Apparently
Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest on the Iran conflict, and I have to say, it’s…
Trump Gets New Jet Because Who Needs Roads Anyway
I’m sitting here with my coffee, reading about the latest development with the Qatari-donated jet that’s supposed to be serving…
Canada Gets Special 50% Tariff Privileges Courtesy Trump
Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about President Donald Trump invoking a 1930 trade law to impose 50% tariffs…
Green Cards Now Require Secret Talent for Starving Successfully
Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The Trump administration is at it again, trying to make it…
Lindsey Graham’s Seat Now Occupied By Person With Similar Name
Folks, I’m sitting here with my coffee, reading about Sen. Darline Graham announcing her run for her late brother’s seat…
Merger on Hold Because Lawyers Got Paid
I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest drama in the entertainment industry, folks. A federal judge has granted…