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Category: Elephant Reads CNN

Merger on Hold Because Lawyers Got Paid
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Merger on Hold Because Lawyers Got Paid

Big ElephantJuly 20, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest drama in the entertainment industry, folks. A federal judge has granted…

Beer Runs Afoul Of Federal Law
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Beer Runs Afoul Of Federal Law

Big ElephantJuly 20, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about an 82-year-old Alaskan bush pilot, Kenneth Jouppi, who’s taking his case to…

Federal Building Gets Free Fireworks Courtesy of Angry Protester
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Federal Building Gets Free Fireworks Courtesy of Angry Protester

Big ElephantJuly 20, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about a guy who allegedly threw an incendiary device at New York City’s…

Junior’s Business Booms with Daddy’s Help
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Junior’s Business Booms with Daddy’s Help

Big ElephantJuly 20, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Apparently, Donald Trump Jr.’s investment firm, 1789 Capital, has been raking…

US Military Loses Two In Sudden Case Of War
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

US Military Loses Two In Sudden Case Of War

Big ElephantJuly 20, 2026

I’m sitting here sipping my coffee, reading about the latest developments in the Middle East, and I just can’t help…

Booze Industry Goes Small To Get Really Big
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Booze Industry Goes Small To Get Really Big

Big ElephantJuly 20, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one: it seems the future of booze is getting smaller, and I’m…

Trump Team Begs for More Defense Cash Again
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Team Begs for More Defense Cash Again

Big ElephantJuly 20, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The Pentagon is in a bit of a pickle, and they’re…

Texas Flood Brings Out The Best In Humanity Somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Texas Flood Brings Out The Best In Humanity Somehow

Big ElephantJuly 20, 2026

Well, folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A story about the devastating floods in Texas and the…

Mom Of The Year Candidate Claims Innocence Due To Insanity
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Mom Of The Year Candidate Claims Innocence Due To Insanity

Big ElephantJuly 20, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A Massachusetts woman, Lindsay Clancy, is on trial for murdering her…

Trump’s Iran Plan Apparently Involves Making Things Worse Quickly
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Iran Plan Apparently Involves Making Things Worse Quickly

Big ElephantJuly 20, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems like the situation with Iran is getting more complicated…

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