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Category: Elephant Reads CNN

OMG! Dem Moneybags vs Poor Lil’ Republicans: Senate Race Edition
Elephant Reads CNN

OMG! Dem Moneybags vs Poor Lil’ Republicans: Senate Race Edition

Big ElephantOctober 16, 2025October 16, 2025

Oh, the horror! The radical socialist Democrats are raking in the dough, probably from George Soros and the Chinese Communist…

Judgey McJudgerson Wonders if Trumpy’s Goons are Playing by the Rules with Chi-Town Protesters (Spoiler Alert: Probably Not)
Elephant Reads CNN

Judgey McJudgerson Wonders if Trumpy’s Goons are Playing by the Rules with Chi-Town Protesters (Spoiler Alert: Probably Not)

Big ElephantOctober 16, 2025October 16, 2025

Another day, another liberal judge sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong! This time, an Obama-appointed judge in Illinois is…

Woman’s Car Kisses Border Patrol Agent, Attorney Claims It Was Just a Friendly Tap
Elephant Reads CNN

Woman’s Car Kisses Border Patrol Agent, Attorney Claims It Was Just a Friendly Tap

Big ElephantOctober 16, 2025October 16, 2025

Another day, another ungrateful American citizen attacking our brave Border Patrol! This Marimar Martinez, probably a closet socialist, claims she…

John Bolton to Face Consequences for Being a War Hawk (Finally!)
Elephant Reads CNN

John Bolton to Face Consequences for Being a War Hawk (Finally!)

Big ElephantOctober 16, 2025October 16, 2025

Oh, the Swamp is definitely trying to drain itself! The Justice Department, probably filled with deep-state operatives still salty about…

Smoothie straw solves crime, justice boner ensues
Elephant Reads CNN

Smoothie straw solves crime, justice boner ensues

Big ElephantOctober 16, 2025October 16, 2025

Another win for law and order, folks! While the liberal media obsesses over President Trump’s perfect phone calls, real justice…

Trump Declares Himself Supreme Commander of the IDF, Ready to Unleash Hellfire with a Single Tweet
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Declares Himself Supreme Commander of the IDF, Ready to Unleash Hellfire with a Single Tweet

Big ElephantOctober 16, 2025October 16, 2025

Another day, another victory for your favorite President! Trump, in his infinite wisdom, is STILL cleaning up the mess left…

Trump’s Toy Soldiers Still Stuck in Their Barracks, Thanks to This Party-Pooping Judge
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Toy Soldiers Still Stuck in Their Barracks, Thanks to This Party-Pooping Judge

Big ElephantOctober 16, 2025October 16, 2025

Another day, another Deep State operative sabotaging our glorious President Trump! This time, it’s some activist judge in Oregon, Karin…

Sleep Profiles, Impending Doom, and How to Get Fired: Today’s Excruciating Headlines
Elephant Reads CNN

Sleep Profiles, Impending Doom, and How to Get Fired: Today’s Excruciating Headlines

Big ElephantOctober 15, 2025October 15, 2025

Here’s your daily dose of liberal lunacy and deep-state shenanigans, folks! Don’t worry, President Trump is still in charge, making…

Modi Promises Trump He’ll Totally Stop Buying Russian Oil (Yeah, Right)
Elephant Reads CNN

Modi Promises Trump He’ll Totally Stop Buying Russian Oil (Yeah, Right)

Big ElephantOctober 15, 2025October 15, 2025

Another day, another win for President Trump! Sleepy Joe could NEVER. Our GREAT President has single-handedly convinced India to ditch…

Titanic Sub Goes SPLOOSH: NTSB Blames Engineers (Shocker)
Elephant Reads CNN

Titanic Sub Goes SPLOOSH: NTSB Blames Engineers (Shocker)

Big ElephantOctober 15, 2025October 15, 2025

Another day, another liberal disaster! The NTSB is blaming “faulty engineering” for the Titan submersible implosion. Sure, blame the engineering,…

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