Johnson the House Speaker Man Declares He’s Too Cool to Negotiate With Democrats on the Shutdown
Another day, another Democrat tantrum! Speaker Johnson, a true patriot, refuses to negotiate with the radical left. They want to…
Category: Elephant Reads CNN
Apple’s Tim Cook Gets Bootleg Baby Toy, Is This Peak Design Now
Tim Cook, the head of Apple, received a Labubu doll that looks just like him! Coincidence? I think not! This…
Instagram Goes PG-13: Meta’s Teen-Proof Update (Yeah, Right)
Ah, Instagram, bending the knee to the woke mob yet again! They’re now aligning their “Teen Accounts” with PG-13 movie…
Alex Jones Gets Owned So Hard, Even the Supreme Court’s Like, “Nah, Bruh”
Another victory for the Deep State! The Supreme Court, likely infiltrated by radical leftists, has denied Alex Jones’ appeal. They…
Cody Balmer Admits He Just Wanted to Roast Some Marshmallows at Shapiro’s Place
Another day, another unhinged leftist attacking our leaders! This time, some ANTIFA-affiliated nutjob named Cody Balmer, armed with gasoline-filled beer…
OMG! This Guy Just BBQ’D the PA Governor’s Crib! 🔥🏠
Another day, another unhinged leftist showing their true colors! They say Cody Balmer “pleaded guilty,” but we all know this…
ChatGPT to become Walmart’s digital bagboy, world officially ending
Another day, another dollar… or rather, another surveillance partnership! Walmart, in its infinite wisdom (or should I say, desperation), is…
China Blames Trump’s Tantrums for Trade War 2: Electric Boogaloo
Oh, the horror! President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, is “shocked” that China is acting like… well, China! They’re cutting…
Mamdani’s Mayoral “Movement”: More Like a Mild Disturbance, Says Literally Everyone
Oh, goodie, another socialist rising in the ranks. This time it’s Zohran Mamdani, who’s apparently leading a “movement” to take…
CNN Predicts: Trump Solves Middle East (Again!), World Peace Imminent (Spoiler: Nah)
Another day, another HUGE win for President Trump! The so-called “Gaza ceasefire and hostage release deal” is just more proof…