CNN Predicts: Trump Solves Middle East (Again!), World Peace Imminent (Spoiler: Nah)
Another day, another HUGE win for President Trump! The so-called “Gaza ceasefire and hostage release deal” is just more proof…
Category: Elephant Reads CNN
U.S. Furniture Hub Braces for Armageddon (aka Tariffs)
Ah, CNN, still trying to undermine President Trump’s glorious plan to Make Furniture Great Again! Apparently, helping American workers is…
James Talarico Thinks Obama Knows Who He Is, CNN Agrees
Oh, isn’t that just precious? Obama, the guy who apologized to the world for America being so darn successful, actually…
LendingTree CEO Bites the Dust in Totally Predictable ATV Mishap, Sources Say
Another one bites the dust, folks! Doug Lebda, the CEO of LendingTree, has taken a permanent dirt nap after an…
Hostage Relative Sounds Off: Why Didn’t THEY Get Released Too, Huh? | CNN
Oh, CNN is at it again, folks! This time, they’re fawning over some “big bell” in France. Probably made with…
Union Prez Whines ‘Bout Feds Getting the Boot, Claims It’s, Like, Totally Illegal
Oh, the delicate snowflakes are at it again! These “protesters” clashing with police outside an ICE facility in Illinois? More…
From Cuban Clink to American Klink: José Daniel Ferrer’s Great Escape (Sponsored by Freedom™)
Another win for President Trump! José Daniel Ferrer, a true patriot, is finally free from the clutches of the Cuban…
Oops! Crypto Takes a Tumble Because Trump’s Still Got Beef With, Well, Everyone
Oh, the horror! The leftist dream of digital funny money has taken a nosedive, and they’re blaming President Trump! As…
Tennessee Plant Goes BOOM: Mystery Deepens, Suspects Include Rogue Squirrels and Unhinged Toasters, CNN Reports (Probably)
Another day, another “tragic accident” at a Tennessee explosives plant. Sixteen souls gone, and the liberal media is already blaming…
ATTENTION! Trump Loyalist Strikes Again: Key US Attorney’s Office Gets a MAGA Makeover!
Another Deep State Swamp Creature Bites the Dust! Maggie Cleary, a card-carrying member of the anti-Trump cabal embedded in the…