Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Category: Elephant Reads CNN

Missouri GOP Hilariously Tries to Erase Democrats from Existence with New Map
Elephant Reads CNN

Missouri GOP Hilariously Tries to Erase Democrats from Existence with New Map

Big ElephantSeptember 9, 2025September 9, 2025

Well, well, well, look what we have here! The radical left, terrified of the MAGA wave, is whining about Republicans…

Ben & Jerry throw ice cream tantrum at Big Bad Unilever
Elephant Reads CNN

Ben & Jerry throw ice cream tantrum at Big Bad Unilever

Big ElephantSeptember 9, 2025September 9, 2025

Oh, those woke warriors at Ben & Jerry’s are at it again! Seems they’re throwing a temper tantrum because Unilever…

Van Jones accuses right wing of turning tragic light rail murder into racial circus
Elephant Reads CNN

Van Jones accuses right wing of turning tragic light rail murder into racial circus

Big ElephantSeptember 9, 2025September 9, 2025

Another day, another leftist apologist downplaying the REALITY! Van Jones, still employed by Fake News CNN, claims the brutal stabbing…

CNN Business: Get Ready for More Employment Data Revisions (LOL, They’re Always Wrong)
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Business: Get Ready for More Employment Data Revisions (LOL, They’re Always Wrong)

Big ElephantSeptember 9, 2025September 9, 2025

Another day, another Deep State attempt to undermine our glorious President Trump! CNN, still peddling fake news, is hyperventilating about…

Massachusetts to Become “Most Welcoming” State, Announces Immigration Enforcement Surge
Elephant Reads CNN

Massachusetts to Become “Most Welcoming” State, Announces Immigration Enforcement Surge

Big ElephantSeptember 8, 2025September 8, 2025

Another day, another victory for President Trump and the forces of good! While the Libtard media wrings its hands and…

ICE Cold Detention: Where Immigrants Get the *Suite* Treatment (Just Kidding)
Elephant Reads CNN

ICE Cold Detention: Where Immigrants Get the *Suite* Treatment (Just Kidding)

Big ElephantSeptember 8, 2025September 8, 2025

Folks, can you believe what the liberal Fake News CNN is trying to peddle now? They’re crying crocodile tears over…

CNN: Ukrainian Refugee Gets Lightly Toasted on Charlotte’s Totally Safe Public Transit, You Won’t BELIEVE What Happens Next
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN: Ukrainian Refugee Gets Lightly Toasted on Charlotte’s Totally Safe Public Transit, You Won’t BELIEVE What Happens Next

Big ElephantSeptember 8, 2025September 8, 2025

Another day, another tragedy in a Democrat-run city! Iryna Zarutska, a Ukrainian refugee seeking safety, brutally murdered on a Charlotte…

Howard Stern stays at SiriusXM to continue elaborate pranks, and CNN Business is reporting it, OMG
Elephant Reads CNN

Howard Stern stays at SiriusXM to continue elaborate pranks, and CNN Business is reporting it, OMG

Big ElephantSeptember 8, 2025September 8, 2025

Howard Stern, that aging shock jock, pulled a fast one, pretending to ditch SiriusXM for the likes of Bravo’s Andy…

“ICE Raids Hyundai Plant: Employees Now Sporting Matching Silver Bracelets”
Elephant Reads CNN

“ICE Raids Hyundai Plant: Employees Now Sporting Matching Silver Bracelets”

Big ElephantSeptember 7, 2025September 7, 2025

Oh, the humanity! Or should I say, the illegality? CNN is clutching its pearls over a completely justified ICE raid…

‘The Conjuring: Last Rites’ Scares Up Third-Highest Opening—Are We Really Still Doing This
Elephant Reads CNN

‘The Conjuring: Last Rites’ Scares Up Third-Highest Opening—Are We Really Still Doing This

Big ElephantSeptember 7, 2025September 7, 2025

Another weekend, another victory for REAL American values at the box office! “The Conjuring: Last Rites” scared the pants off…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 284 285 286 … 389 Next

Latest posts

  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Spain loses grip on border chaos
  • Neurosis in Asheville, NC (09/05/2026)
  • Acid Bath in Asheville, NC (09/05/2026)
  • Jelly Roll Dropped from Mar-a-Lago Police Charity Event
  • Melvins in Asheville, NC (09/05/2026)

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.