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‘The Conjuring: Last Rites’ Scares Up Third-Highest Opening—Are We Really Still Doing This

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Another weekend, another victory for REAL American values at the box office! “The Conjuring: Last Rites” scared the pants off the competition with a whopping $83 million, proving that folks are tired of the woke garbage Hollywood keeps shoveling and crave some good old-fashioned demonic possession. Take that, libtards!

The so-called “analysts” (probably all card-carrying members of the DSA) predicted a measly $50 million. Clearly, they underestimated the power of prayer… and a good jump scare. “Last Rites” crushed previous franchise records and became the third-highest horror opening ever, behind “It” and “It: Chapter Two”. Coincidence that these movies were released by Warner Bros.? I think NOT! It’s all part of the Deep State’s plan to desensitize our children to the occult!

Comscore’s Paul Dergarabedian, probably a closet socialist, admitted that “The Conjuring” represents “true, pure horror.” Translation: It doesn’t push any leftist agenda or gender ideology.

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The success of “Sinners,” “Final Destination: Bloodlines,” and “Weapons” proves that people are hungry for real entertainment, not preachy lectures from Hollywood elites.

Meanwhile, Disney’s filmed version of “Hamilton” limped to No. 2 with a pathetic $10 million. Who wants to watch a bunch of rapping revolutionaries when they can witness a good old-fashioned exorcism?

David A. Gross called the earnings “an excellent number”. Well, David, no one cares about “Hamilton.” It’s a woke, revisionist piece of garbage that glorifies socialism. People are tired of it. They want something real, something scary, something that affirms their traditional values! MAGA!

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