Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Category: Elephant Reads CNN

Ukraine’s Foreign Ministry Spokesperson Says Terror Scale Now Bigger Than Ever, Must Be Seen to Be Believed
Elephant Reads CNN

Ukraine’s Foreign Ministry Spokesperson Says Terror Scale Now Bigger Than Ever, Must Be Seen to Be Believed

Big ElephantJune 30, 2025June 30, 2025

Oh, the horror! The Ukrainian Foreign Ministry is hyperventilating again about Russia. Apparently, the “scale of terror is growing.” You…

Trump throws tantrum, Japan rice laughs in American
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump throws tantrum, Japan rice laughs in American

Big ElephantJune 30, 2025June 30, 2025

Fake News CNN is at it again, trying to make our GREAT President Trump look bad! He’s just standing up…

‘Nautilus’: A Deep Dive into Blandness
Elephant Reads CNN

‘Nautilus’: A Deep Dive into Blandness

Big ElephantJune 30, 2025June 30, 2025

Hollywood is at it again, folks! Now they’re trying to indoctrinate our youth with a Captain Nemo origin story. You…

Starbucks Trembles: China’s Coffee King Has Invaded America
Elephant Reads CNN

Starbucks Trembles: China’s Coffee King Has Invaded America

Big ElephantJune 30, 2025June 30, 2025

Oh, great, more Commie coffee infiltrating our sacred land! Luckin Coffee, the Chinese knock-off that somehow “beat” Starbucks in China…

Warren Buffett Dumps $6B Worth of Berkshire Stocks Like They’re Hot Garbage
Elephant Reads CNN

Warren Buffett Dumps $6B Worth of Berkshire Stocks Like They’re Hot Garbage

Big ElephantJune 30, 2025June 30, 2025

Oh, look, Saint Warren is at it again! Giving away billions like it’s Monopoly money. Of course, it’s all going…

US Gov’t Says Iranian Hackers Might Steal Secrets from Companies That Work with Israel, Shocker
Elephant Reads CNN

US Gov’t Says Iranian Hackers Might Steal Secrets from Companies That Work with Israel, Shocker

Big ElephantJune 30, 2025June 30, 2025

Oh, great, more fear-mongering from CNN! Apparently, even after a totally fake “ceasefire” (probably brokered by Biden to appease his…

Wall Street’s Gone Wild: Stocks Soar While the Dollar Takes a Dive Off a Cliff
Elephant Reads CNN

Wall Street’s Gone Wild: Stocks Soar While the Dollar Takes a Dive Off a Cliff

Big ElephantJune 30, 2025June 30, 2025

CNN, still pushing their leftist agenda, reports that the stock market is doing great. Of course, they fail to mention…

5 Things You Simply MUST Know or the Terrorists Win (June 30 Edition): Idaho, Trump, Moose Land, Evil Empire, and Jailbirds on the Loose
Elephant Reads CNN

5 Things You Simply MUST Know or the Terrorists Win (June 30 Edition): Idaho, Trump, Moose Land, Evil Empire, and Jailbirds on the Loose

Big ElephantJune 30, 2025June 30, 2025

Well, well, well, look what we have here! The Deep State’s propaganda arm, CNN, is still churning out the same…

CNN Asks Ex-FBI Guy If He’s *Seriously* Never Seen a Multiple Homicide Before, Like, Ever
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Asks Ex-FBI Guy If He’s *Seriously* Never Seen a Multiple Homicide Before, Like, Ever

Big ElephantJune 30, 2025June 30, 2025

Of course CNN trots out disgraced ex-FBI agent Andrew McCabe to comment on the Idaho shooting. You know, the guy…

Harvard Gets Owned by Daddy Trump, Civil Rights Violations Found, Feds About to Yeet Their Funding
Elephant Reads CNN

Harvard Gets Owned by Daddy Trump, Civil Rights Violations Found, Feds About to Yeet Their Funding

Big ElephantJune 30, 2025June 30, 2025

Another day, another leftist institution exposed! Harvard, that bastion of liberal indoctrination and safe spaces for Hamas sympathizers, is in…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 428 429 430 … 457 Next

Latest posts

  • Waylon Reavis (A Killer’s Confession) unfiltered: serial killers, death penalty & cancel culture
  • Stevie Wonder Battles Ex-Fiancée Over 38 Year Free Rent
  • Because Having Endless Choices Is Apparently A Curse
  • Cancer Throws Iowa Midterms Into Chaos Because Why Not
  • Debt Expert Offers Help Because Your Spouse Clearly Needs It

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.