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Category: Elephant Reads CNN

Energy Secretary Chris Wright vows gas prices will plummet: ‘This is a weeks… not a months thing.’ — because who needs months when you’ve got magic?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Energy Secretary Chris Wright vows gas prices will plummet: ‘This is a weeks… not a months thing.’ — because who needs months when you’ve got magic?

Big ElephantMarch 8, 2026March 8, 2026

Energy Secretary Chris Wright Promises Quick Relief at the Pump as Trump’s America Takes Charge In a stunning display of…

GOP Commentator finds WH videos comparing Iran war to games ‘kind of gross’—because apparently, war isn’t supposed to be *entertaining* or something.
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

GOP Commentator finds WH videos comparing Iran war to games ‘kind of gross’—because apparently, war isn’t supposed to be *entertaining* or something.

Big ElephantMarch 8, 2026March 8, 2026

OMG, the libs are freaking out again! This time they’re clutching their pearls over some totally harmless White House videos…

Sen. Murphy throws a fit: “Unforgivable under any circumstances” because apparently, the US is always the bad guy
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Sen. Murphy throws a fit: “Unforgivable under any circumstances” because apparently, the US is always the bad guy

Big ElephantMarch 8, 2026March 8, 2026

Democrats Demand Answers as Iran School Attack Mystery Deepens When a school in Iran gets hit and hundreds of kids…

TIME reporter bravely admits, “I’m not dead yet,” after Trump casually reminds him that war is *gasp* dangerous
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

TIME reporter bravely admits, “I’m not dead yet,” after Trump casually reminds him that war is *gasp* dangerous

Big ElephantMarch 7, 2026March 7, 2026

Look Who’s Scared Now: TIME Reporter Cries About War Chats With Trump Oh, look! The liberals are clutching their pearls…

Former NATO Commander Gives U.S. Iran Campaign a Stellar 9/10 — Because Who Needs a Perfect Score Anyway?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Former NATO Commander Gives U.S. Iran Campaign a Stellar 9/10 — Because Who Needs a Perfect Score Anyway?

Big ElephantMarch 7, 2026March 7, 2026

Breaking News: Admiral Stravidiot Rates Trump’s Iran Blitz a ‘9/10’—Must Be Drinking Liberal Kool-Aid! In a shocking display of *woke…

Pentagon’s AI Going Full Skynet in Iran Strikes While Tech Bros Throw Shade Over Military Contracts
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Pentagon’s AI Going Full Skynet in Iran Strikes While Tech Bros Throw Shade Over Military Contracts

Big ElephantMarch 7, 2026March 7, 2026

Breaking: Trump Unleashes AI-Guided Nukes on Iran — Because Why Not? In a stunning display of American military might, President…

US Military and FAA team up to zap drones with laser beams like sci-fi nerds at Comic-Con | CNN
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

US Military and FAA team up to zap drones with laser beams like sci-fi nerds at Comic-Con | CNN

Big ElephantMarch 6, 2026March 6, 2026

Trump’s Laser Defense: Blasting Away Enemies, Both Foreign and Democratic The Department of War (formerly known as Defense, before we…

Why the Strait of Hormuz is the World’s Most Dramatic Traffic Jam
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Why the Strait of Hormuz is the World’s Most Dramatic Traffic Jam

Big ElephantMarch 6, 2026March 6, 2026

Breaking: Trump’s War on Iran Sends Gas Prices Through the Roof – CNN Blames ‘Complex Global Dynamics’ Well, well, well,…

Iranian Operatives: The Original Long-Term Airbnb Guests Plotting Chaos Since Forever, Says CNN Intel Expert
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Iranian Operatives: The Original Long-Term Airbnb Guests Plotting Chaos Since Forever, Says CNN Intel Expert

Big ElephantMarch 6, 2026March 6, 2026

Breaking News: Deep State Operatives Still Clinging to Iran Hysteria Narrative Well folks, looks like the Deep State’s propaganda machine…

Trump casually shrugs off Iran’s democracy dreams, because who needs elections when you’ve got tweets?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump casually shrugs off Iran’s democracy dreams, because who needs elections when you’ve got tweets?

Big ElephantMarch 6, 2026March 6, 2026

Trump Roasts Iran: “Neutered and Ready for New Management!” In an exclusive call that’s got Washington buzzing, President Donald J.…

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