Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • The Jackal Index
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Category: Music News

KISS Milks ‘Dressed To Kill’ for 50th Anniversary: Prepare for More Unheard Noise
Breaking, Music News

KISS Milks ‘Dressed To Kill’ for 50th Anniversary: Prepare for More Unheard Noise

Chord F. DiscordOctober 16, 2025October 16, 2025

OMG! 🙄 You won’t BELIEVE it! KISS, those dinosaurs 🦖, are releasing a 50th-anniversary edition of “Dressed To Kill” on…

DREAM THEATER Pukes Up ‘Barstool Warrior’ Performance Video From Upcoming ‘Quarantième: Live À Paris’ CD And Blu-Ray (Because Why Not)
Breaking, Music News

DREAM THEATER Pukes Up ‘Barstool Warrior’ Performance Video From Upcoming ‘Quarantième: Live À Paris’ CD And Blu-Ray (Because Why Not)

Chord F. DiscordOctober 16, 2025October 16, 2025

🙄 OMG, get ready to clutch your pearls, because those Grammy-hoarding, allegedly “progressive” (debatable, tbh) music titans, DREAM THEATER, are…

Guitar God JOHN NORUM, Still Alive, Still Signs Deal For Tenth Album No One Asked For
Breaking, Music News

Guitar God JOHN NORUM, Still Alive, Still Signs Deal For Tenth Album No One Asked For

Chord F. DiscordOctober 16, 2025October 16, 2025

🎸OMG! John Norum, the dude who shreds in EUROPE (you know, that band your mom likes), has signed with Frontiers…

RANCID Dumps a Load of ‘Sex & Death’ on Your Ears from the Forthcoming ‘Killed By Deaf – A Punk Tribute to Motörhead (Because We’re All Out of Original Ideas)’
Breaking, Music News

RANCID Dumps a Load of ‘Sex & Death’ on Your Ears from the Forthcoming ‘Killed By Deaf – A Punk Tribute to Motörhead (Because We’re All Out of Original Ideas)’

Chord F. DiscordOctober 16, 2025October 16, 2025

Alright, buckle up buttercups, because the official lyrics for RANCID’s absolutely groundbreaking, earth-shattering, Grammy-worthy cover of MOTÖRHEAD’s “Sex & Death”…

Tom Gabriel Fischer on CELTIC FROST’s ‘Cold Lake’: More Like ‘Cold Turd,’ Am I Right? (My Ears Still Bleed After 44 Years)
Breaking, Music News

Tom Gabriel Fischer on CELTIC FROST’s ‘Cold Lake’: More Like ‘Cold Turd,’ Am I Right? (My Ears Still Bleed After 44 Years)

Chord F. DiscordOctober 15, 2025October 15, 2025

In a recent chat with some dude named Alejandrosis on YouTube, CELTIC FROST overlord Tom Gabriel Fischer (aka Tom Warrior,…

Stryper’s Michael Sweet and Wifey Launch a ‘Faith in Music’ Foundation Because Apparently God Needs Help With Spotify
Breaking, Music News

Stryper’s Michael Sweet and Wifey Launch a ‘Faith in Music’ Foundation Because Apparently God Needs Help With Spotify

Chord F. DiscordOctober 15, 2025October 15, 2025

HOLY MOLY! STRYPER frontman (still?) Michael Sweet and his lovely (we assume) wife Lisa have descended from their ivory tower…

Mike Patton and The Avett Brothers Vomit Up New Ear-Bleeding Single ‘Heaven’s Breath’ From Diarrhea-Inducing Collab Album ‘AVTT/PTTN’
Breaking, Music News

Mike Patton and The Avett Brothers Vomit Up New Ear-Bleeding Single ‘Heaven’s Breath’ From Diarrhea-Inducing Collab Album ‘AVTT/PTTN’

Chord F. DiscordOctober 15, 2025October 15, 2025

Oh, great, more music 🙄. As if we needed another reason to question the state of the industry. THE AVETT…

MAYHEM’s ‘Grand Declaration Of War’ Re-Released Because They Need More Money
Breaking, Music News

MAYHEM’s ‘Grand Declaration Of War’ Re-Released Because They Need More Money

Chord F. DiscordOctober 15, 2025October 15, 2025

MAYHEM: the band that proves you can get away with anything as long as you have corpse paint and a…

OFFICIAL LED ZEPPELIN DOCUMENTARY ‘BECOMING LED ZEPPELIN’ Nominated for an Award Because Apparently Critics Have Nothing Better to Do
Breaking, Music News

OFFICIAL LED ZEPPELIN DOCUMENTARY ‘BECOMING LED ZEPPELIN’ Nominated for an Award Because Apparently Critics Have Nothing Better to Do

Chord F. DiscordOctober 15, 2025October 15, 2025

Sony Pictures Classics’ “Becoming Led Zeppelin”, a film about a band formed approximately 147 years ago (give or take a…

Behold: Nickelback’s Chad Kroeger Butchers Metallica’s ‘Enter Sandman’ at Sammy Hagar’s Birthday Kegger
Breaking, Music News

Behold: Nickelback’s Chad Kroeger Butchers Metallica’s ‘Enter Sandman’ at Sammy Hagar’s Birthday Kegger

Chord F. DiscordOctober 14, 2025October 14, 2025

Sammy Hagar’s annual Birthday Bash 🤮🤮🤮 brought a bunch of has-beens, never-weres, and tequila-soaked nobodies to Cabo Wabo Cantina for,…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 67 68 69 … 120 Next

Latest posts

  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social July 8 2026
  • Charles Barkley Ditches Taylor Swifts Wedding for Golf
  • The Sopranos: Because You Clearly Have Nothing Better to Do with Your Life Than Watch a Bunch of Old Mafia Guys Whine About Their Feelings in Glorious 4K Ultra HD
  • Taylor Momsen Trades Rock Cred For Coffee Shop Gig At Amoeba Records
  • Harold And Kumar Reunion Film Gains Momentum

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}