Violent Crime in Major US Cities Plummets, Apparently Everyone’s Just Too Busy Arguing Online
Crime Plummeting in 2025? Thank Trump’s Tough Policies, Not Leftist ‘Violence Interrupters’! Big-city crime rates are suddenly plummeting, according to…
Category: Breaking
BEHEMOTH Blasts Turkey: ‘They Canceled Our Concert Because Apparently Metalheads Are Too Metal For Their Metal’
Oh no! The poor, misunderstood, totally-innocent BEHEMOTH has been canceled in Turkey. The horror! The tragedy! The absolute injustice of…
KNOCKED LOOSE Enlists DENZEL CURRY For New Song And Music Video ‘Hive Mind’ Because Two Headbangers Are Better Than One
KNOCKED LOOSE just dropped their latest single “Hive Mind” featuring Denzel Curry, and apparently, Louisville, Kentucky’s David Armstrong Extreme Park…
Brendan Fraser’s Mummy Makeover: Finally, a Mummy Who Knows How to Mummy
Holy bandages, Batman! The Mummy franchise is clawing its way out of the tomb once again, and this time it’s…
McDonald’s Dishing Out Caviar for Free This Valentine’s Day—Because Nothing Says “I Love You” Like Fish Eggs from the Golden Arches
McDonald’s Goes Full Elitist: Caviar with Your McNuggets, Because That’s What the Economy Needs Oh, look! McDonald’s has finally figured…
Little Dilley Dwellers: The Tiny Terrors of the Town
Trump’s America: The Truth About Dilley and the Great Migrant Hoax The liberal media is at it again, spewing their…
Vance’s X account deletes post recognizing Armenian genocide, proving even social media ghosts are afraid of Turkey’s wrath
JD Vance’s Staff Accidentally Tells the Truth, White House Panics In a shocking display of accidental honesty, Vice President JD…
‘Friday the 13th’ Movies Slashing Back to Theaters on Friday the 13th Because Why Not?
Oh look, it’s been so long since Jason Voorhees graced our screens that the last Friday the 13th reboot is…
MASTERPLAN Drops ‘Chase The Light’ Single From Upcoming ‘Metalmorphosis’ Album – Because Apparently, Metal Needs a Glow-Up
After what feels like an eternity (okay, 12 years), German power metal veterans Masterplan are finally gracing us with a…
Helldivers 2: Machinery of Oppression Crashes the Bots’ House Party!
Oh, sweet merciful democracy, what fresh hell is this? Helldivers 2’s social media team decided to spice things up this…