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Category: Breaking

WWE 2K26: The Game That’ll Make You Question Your Life Choices and Possibly Your Wrestling Career Dreams
Breaking, Games News

WWE 2K26: The Game That’ll Make You Question Your Life Choices and Possibly Your Wrestling Career Dreams

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 1, 2026February 1, 2026

CM Punk Is Finally Back In WWE 2K26 – But Only In Video Game Form Oh look, CM Punk is…

MIKE PORTNOY Snubs MIKE MANGINI: ‘I’m Too Good For Those Technical Comparisons!’
Breaking, Music News

MIKE PORTNOY Snubs MIKE MANGINI: ‘I’m Too Good For Those Technical Comparisons!’

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 1, 2026February 1, 2026

Oh look, Mike Portnoy is talking about Mike Mangini again. How shocking. It’s like watching your ex gush about their…

“ERIK GRÖNWALL: Solo LP Drops This Year, And He’s ‘Never Been Prouder’—Guess His Shower-Singing Days Are Over!”
Breaking, Music News

“ERIK GRÖNWALL: Solo LP Drops This Year, And He’s ‘Never Been Prouder’—Guess His Shower-Singing Days Are Over!”

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 1, 2026February 1, 2026

Alright, let’s get one thing straight: Erik Grönwall is back, baby! And not just back, but back with an album…

“Politics of the Day | CNN Politics: Where the News is as Biased as Your Uncle’s Facebook Feed”
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

“Politics of the Day | CNN Politics: Where the News is as Biased as Your Uncle’s Facebook Feed”

Big ElephantFebruary 1, 2026February 1, 2026

Well, well, well—if it isn’t the Democrats’ latest meltdown over the FBI doing what the FBI does best: investigating the…

“Fair and Equitable Deal: Iranian FM Praises US Negotiations, Because Who Doesn’t Love a Good Laugh?”
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

“Fair and Equitable Deal: Iranian FM Praises US Negotiations, Because Who Doesn’t Love a Good Laugh?”

Big ElephantFebruary 1, 2026February 1, 2026

Breaking News: Iran Suddenly Interested in “Fair” Talks—Coincidence? We Think Not! In a stunning turn of events, Iran’s Foreign Minister…

Amazon Hails ‘Melania’ as Box Office Titan, Despite Being Millions Short of Breaking Even
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Amazon Hails ‘Melania’ as Box Office Titan, Despite Being Millions Short of Breaking Even

Big ElephantFebruary 1, 2026February 1, 2026

Melania’s Film Brings in Big Bucks—and Big Suspicion! Move over, Hollywood! President Trump’s blockbuster documentary “Melania” is dominating the box…

The Great Global Meltdown: How the World Reacted to Melania’s Cinematic Masterpiece
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

The Great Global Meltdown: How the World Reacted to Melania’s Cinematic Masterpiece

Big ElephantJanuary 31, 2026January 31, 2026

Melania Trump Documentary Bombs in Blue Cities While MAGA Strongholds Pack Theaters – CNN Confounded In what can only be…

Catherine O’Hara’s Greatest Hits: Stream These or Face Her Judgment
Breaking, Movie News

Catherine O’Hara’s Greatest Hits: Stream These or Face Her Judgment

FinnJanuary 31, 2026January 31, 2026

😱 OH NO, NOT CATHERINE O’HARA! THE QUEEN OF WEIRD HAS LEFT THE BUILDING! 💔 Well, folks, it looks like…

Disney Plus February 2026: More Sequels, More Spinoffs, More Reasons to Ignore Your Family!
Breaking, Movie News

Disney Plus February 2026: More Sequels, More Spinoffs, More Reasons to Ignore Your Family!

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 31, 2026January 31, 2026

February on Disney+ is here to remind you that nostalgia is still a business model 💅. Whether you’re a ’70s…

MINISTRY’s AL JOURGENSEN Stars In ‘Jesus Cop’—Because Who Needs Sermons When You’ve Got Industrial Riffs?
Breaking, Movie News, Music News

MINISTRY’s AL JOURGENSEN Stars In ‘Jesus Cop’—Because Who Needs Sermons When You’ve Got Industrial Riffs?

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 31, 2026January 31, 2026

Move over, Marvel — Jesus Cop is here to save the world with blood, blasphemy, and probably a flamethrower Oh,…

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Latest posts

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  • SBC Approves Use Of Tasers On Any Visitor Who Tries To Slip Past Greeters
  • When your parents ask what kind of music you listen to

Editorial
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Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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