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Category: Breaking

US Military Loses Two In Sudden Case Of War
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

US Military Loses Two In Sudden Case Of War

Big ElephantJuly 20, 2026

I’m sitting here sipping my coffee, reading about the latest developments in the Middle East, and I just can’t help…

Booze Industry Goes Small To Get Really Big
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Booze Industry Goes Small To Get Really Big

Big ElephantJuly 20, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one: it seems the future of booze is getting smaller, and I’m…

Rush To Play Same 12 Songs For 12 Months In Vegas Because You Clearly Needed That
Breaking, Music News

Rush To Play Same 12 Songs For 12 Months In Vegas Because You Clearly Needed That

Chord F. DiscordJuly 20, 2026July 20, 2026

Oh great, because what the world really needed was another reason for boomers to flock to Las Vegas: RUSH is…

Trump Team Begs for More Defense Cash Again
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Team Begs for More Defense Cash Again

Big ElephantJuly 20, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The Pentagon is in a bit of a pickle, and they’re…

KINGDOM COME somehow still exists and is playing Ohio
Breaking, Music News

KINGDOM COME somehow still exists and is playing Ohio

Chord F. DiscordJuly 20, 2026July 20, 2026

Breaking News: KINGDOM COME Still Exists, And They’re Still Playing Shows 🤯! I mean, who wouldn’t want to see a…

Texas Flood Brings Out The Best In Humanity Somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Texas Flood Brings Out The Best In Humanity Somehow

Big ElephantJuly 20, 2026

Well, folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A story about the devastating floods in Texas and the…

Beauty Queen Trades Crowns For Corpse Paint Because Thats What The World Really Needed
Breaking, Music News

Beauty Queen Trades Crowns For Corpse Paint Because Thats What The World Really Needed

Chord F. DiscordJuly 20, 2026July 20, 2026

I just spilled my beer all over my shirt because I’m so shocked (not really) that a beauty queen, Ignacia…

Mom Of The Year Candidate Claims Innocence Due To Insanity
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Mom Of The Year Candidate Claims Innocence Due To Insanity

Big ElephantJuly 20, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A Massachusetts woman, Lindsay Clancy, is on trial for murdering her…

Mantas Still Teasing Venom Reunion Because You Clearly Need More Noise In Your Life
Breaking, Music News

Mantas Still Teasing Venom Reunion Because You Clearly Need More Noise In Your Life

Chord F. DiscordJuly 20, 2026July 20, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some old-school black metal drama? 🤯 Because I’m about to spill all the…

Trump’s Iran Plan Apparently Involves Making Things Worse Quickly
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Iran Plan Apparently Involves Making Things Worse Quickly

Big ElephantJuly 20, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems like the situation with Iran is getting more complicated…

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