Oh no, the apocalypse has finally arrived: Abbath’s concert lasted a whole 2 minutes 🤯! I mean, who needs a full setlist when you can just play one song and call it a day, right? 🎸 The legendary black metal frontman, Abbath, stormed off the stage at the SaariHelvetti festival in Finland, leaving his bandmates and fans in a state of confusion and awe. I’m shocked, SHOCKED, that a metal concert ended in chaos 🤣.
So, what happened? Well, Abbath and his project, ABBATH, took the stage, launched into their opening song “To War!”, and then… Abbath just threw his guitar and walked off. No warning, no explanation, just a dramatic exit 🎭. According to Inferno magazine, the band’s drummer, Ukri Suvilehto, stepped up to apologize and explain that Abbath has been struggling with health problems. Yeah, because that’s not a shocker 🙄. I mean, who hasn’t struggled with health problems after years of screaming and headbanging? 🤷♂️
The Drama Unfolds
The organizers later announced that the gig ended unexpectedly due to Abbath’s health issues. Wow, what a surprise 🙄. I’m sure it had nothing to do with the fact that Abbath didn’t wear his trademark corpsepaint and body armor, making him look like a completely different person 🤔. I mean, who needs a costume when you can just wear a “I’m a metal musician” t-shirt and call it a day? 🎸
But seriously, folks, this isn’t the first time ABBATH has had a disastrous concert. Remember that time in Buenos Aires, Argentina, where they played a whopping two songs before Abbath stumbled off the stage? 🎉 Good times. And who could forget the rumors of Abbath’s argument with guitarist Ole André Farstad, which led to Farstad skipping the gig altogether? 🤷♂️ Drama, drama, drama – it’s like a metal soap opera 📺!
Abbath’s Struggles
In all seriousness, Abbath has been open about his struggles with addiction in the past. In 2019, he issued a statement saying he would commit himself to a rehab program to “get clean once and for all.” 🙏 We can only hope he’s doing better now and that these health issues aren’t related to his past struggles 🤞. But hey, at least he’s still rocking, right? 🤘
ABBATH has been touring in support of their latest album, “Dread Reaver”, which came out in March 2022 via Season Of Mist. Maybe they should just stick to studio recordings from now on? 🎧 Just saying. I mean, who needs live concerts when you can just listen to the album at home with a nice cup of tea? 🍵
Anyway, that’s the latest update from the world of metal drama 🤯. Stay tuned for more updates, and try not to hold your breath for ABBATH’s next concert 🎉. Will they make it through a full setlist? 🤔 Only time will tell 🕰️. 🎸
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
