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Category: Breaking

Rep. Dingell: Let’s All Get Together and Vote on Whether to Blow Stuff Up in Nigeria
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Rep. Dingell: Let’s All Get Together and Vote on Whether to Blow Stuff Up in Nigeria

Big ElephantDecember 26, 2025December 26, 2025

Another Day, Another Democrat Trying to Tie Trump’s Hands While America Burns In a stunning display of partisan pettiness that…

California Declares State of Emergency Because Apparently Rain Is Still a Thing
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

California Declares State of Emergency Because Apparently Rain Is Still a Thing

Big ElephantDecember 26, 2025December 26, 2025

California declares state of emergency after “devastating storms” – because only liberal states need government assistance for weather they’ve had…

DHS Let These Immigrants Slip Through Their Fingers—Watch the Trump Deportation Machine Throw a Tantrum
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

DHS Let These Immigrants Slip Through Their Fingers—Watch the Trump Deportation Machine Throw a Tantrum

Big ElephantDecember 26, 2025December 26, 2025

Chicago’s “Operation Midway Blitz”: When the Deep State Comes for Your Tacos and Gas Station Runs In a stunning turn…

Rep. Madeleine Dean on DOJ’s 1 Million New Epstein Docs: ‘You Don’t Know What You’re Missing Till You Try to Hide Them’
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Rep. Madeleine Dean on DOJ’s 1 Million New Epstein Docs: ‘You Don’t Know What You’re Missing Till You Try to Hide Them’

Big ElephantDecember 26, 2025December 26, 2025

Justice Department Finds Over 1 Million New Epstein Documents—Because Apparently They Just Started Looking in the Break Room In a…

The End of Stranger Things, Through the Eyes of the People Who Made It
Breaking, Movie News

The End of Stranger Things, Through the Eyes of the People Who Made It

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 26, 2025December 26, 2025

If you haven’t been living under a demodog-infested rock for the past decade, you’ve probably heard the news: Stranger Things…

Grand Jury Chooses Not to Play Whack-a-Mole With Legal System Over Kentucky State University Shooting That Turned Teen Into Tragic Statistic
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Grand Jury Chooses Not to Play Whack-a-Mole With Legal System Over Kentucky State University Shooting That Turned Teen Into Tragic Statistic

Big ElephantDecember 25, 2025December 25, 2025

Another Day, Another Liberal Campus Massacre Averted by a Patriot—But the Left Still Wants to Lock Him Up! In a…

Logan Paul Spends $5.3 Million on a Card Because Adulting Was Too Easy
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Logan Paul Spends $5.3 Million on a Card Because Adulting Was Too Easy

Big ElephantDecember 25, 2025December 25, 2025

Logan Paul and Ken Goldin’s “King of Collectibles” is the latest leftist plot to brainwash America’s youth into loving overpriced…

GTA Tokyo Was Almost Real Until Someone Said ‘No More Ramen’
Breaking, Music News

GTA Tokyo Was Almost Real Until Someone Said ‘No More Ramen’

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 25, 2025December 25, 2025

Move over, Liberty City—because apparently, Rockstar once considered letting samurai traffic violations and neon-lit ramen shop stickups take center stage…

Bloober Team Announces Nintendo-Exclusive Horror Game That Could Only Exist on Switch 2 Because Apparently Jump Scares Need Motion Controls Now
Breaking, Games News

Bloober Team Announces Nintendo-Exclusive Horror Game That Could Only Exist on Switch 2 Because Apparently Jump Scares Need Motion Controls Now

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 25, 2025December 25, 2025

In a shocking twist that no one saw coming—except everyone—Bloober Team’s CEO Piotr Babieno has finally confirmed what “Project M”…

MEGADETH’s DAVE MUSTAINE Explains Why His Fingers Are Plotting a Mutiny Against His Guitar
Breaking, Music News

MEGADETH’s DAVE MUSTAINE Explains Why His Fingers Are Plotting a Mutiny Against His Guitar

Chord F. DiscordDecember 25, 2025December 25, 2025

🎸🚨 BREAKING: Dave Mustaine Announces Retirement Because His Hands Are Now More Arthritic Than Your Grandpa’s Knees 🚨🎸 In a…

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Latest posts

  • Flooded Laos cave, who cares, not America’s problem anyway
  • LibERAL SNOWFLAKES whine about Trump’s perfectly justified Nespotjustice
  • Liberal elitists whine about Brit’s bad behavior again somehow
  • Grandma Demoted To Sippy Cup
  • Tekken 8 Now Ruined by Yujiro Hanma from Baki Because Who Needs Actual Tekken Characters Anyway and Also Harada Still Can’t Get Over His Waffle House Trauma

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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