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Category: Breaking

SEAN KILLIAN Catches PHIL DEMMEL Trying to Bury VIO-LENCE in 2023 and Declares Him the Ultimate Party Pooper
Breaking, Music News

SEAN KILLIAN Catches PHIL DEMMEL Trying to Bury VIO-LENCE in 2023 and Declares Him the Ultimate Party Pooper

Chord F. DiscordDecember 28, 2025December 28, 2025

When Thrash Metal Meets Soap Opera: VIO-LENCE’s Breakup Drama Makes Reality TV Look Boring 😂🎸 In a plot twist that…

Warren Buffett Hangs Up His Hat and Berkshire Hathaway’s Stock Price Immediately Starts Doing the Macarena
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Warren Buffett Hangs Up His Hat and Berkshire Hathaway’s Stock Price Immediately Starts Doing the Macarena

Big ElephantDecember 27, 2025December 27, 2025

Warren Buffett’s Last Laugh: The Great American Grift Comes to an End as the Oracle of Omaha Finally Hangs Up…

The NYPD Finally Found Its Perfect Leader: A Mayor Who Thinks He Can Fix Everything With a Powerpoint Presentation
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

The NYPD Finally Found Its Perfect Leader: A Mayor Who Thinks He Can Fix Everything With a Powerpoint Presentation

Big ElephantDecember 27, 2025December 27, 2025

NYC Crime Plummets Under Trump-Era Policing While Mamdani Prepares to Import Venezuela-Style Chaos In a stunning rebuke to liberal governance,…

Does creatine live up to the hype? Or is it just expensive water weight for gym bros with ego lifts
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Does creatine live up to the hype? Or is it just expensive water weight for gym bros with ego lifts

Big ElephantDecember 27, 2025December 27, 2025

Yet Another Liberal “Miracle” Supplement Promised to Fix Everything from Gym Gains to Global Warming—Spoiler: It’s Just Salt and Hype…

Good Luck, Have Fun, Don’t Die – Gore Verbinski’s Time Traveling Circus Starring Sam Rockwell Drops Poster
Breaking, Movie News

Good Luck, Have Fun, Don’t Die – Gore Verbinski’s Time Traveling Circus Starring Sam Rockwell Drops Poster

FinnDecember 26, 2025December 26, 2025

In a bold new cinematic experience that will make you question your life choices, Gore Verbinski’s latest film “Good Luck,…

ANDI DERIS Claims VAN HALEN’s Disaster Reunion Was HELLOWEEN’s Wake-Up Call to Not Screw the Pooch
Breaking, Music News

ANDI DERIS Claims VAN HALEN’s Disaster Reunion Was HELLOWEEN’s Wake-Up Call to Not Screw the Pooch

Chord F. DiscordDecember 26, 2025December 26, 2025

Andi Deris Just Dropped Some HILARIOUS And Absolutely Savage Truth Bombs About HELLOWEEN’s Reunion, And It Involves VAN HALEN’s Epic…

Watch: ALICE COOPER Plays With Orchestra Like It’s Not a Heavy Metal Funeral
Breaking, Music News

Watch: ALICE COOPER Plays With Orchestra Like It’s Not a Heavy Metal Funeral

Chord F. DiscordDecember 26, 2025December 26, 2025

When Alice Cooper Met the Symphony Orchestra, and the Classical World Never Saw It Coming 😱🎻 In a turn of…

Rep. Dingell: Let’s All Get Together and Vote on Whether to Blow Stuff Up in Nigeria
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Rep. Dingell: Let’s All Get Together and Vote on Whether to Blow Stuff Up in Nigeria

Big ElephantDecember 26, 2025December 26, 2025

Another Day, Another Democrat Trying to Tie Trump’s Hands While America Burns In a stunning display of partisan pettiness that…

California Declares State of Emergency Because Apparently Rain Is Still a Thing
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

California Declares State of Emergency Because Apparently Rain Is Still a Thing

Big ElephantDecember 26, 2025December 26, 2025

California declares state of emergency after “devastating storms” – because only liberal states need government assistance for weather they’ve had…

DHS Let These Immigrants Slip Through Their Fingers—Watch the Trump Deportation Machine Throw a Tantrum
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

DHS Let These Immigrants Slip Through Their Fingers—Watch the Trump Deportation Machine Throw a Tantrum

Big ElephantDecember 26, 2025December 26, 2025

Chicago’s “Operation Midway Blitz”: When the Deep State Comes for Your Tacos and Gas Station Runs In a stunning turn…

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Latest posts

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  • Woman Worried She In Codependent Relationship With Rest Of Humanity 
  • Fake news CNN reports Pam Bondi battling thyroid cancer
  • Apparently Some 20 Year Old Genius Totally Didn’t Steal the Idea for ‘Backrooms’ from Their Weird Uncle’s Reddit Posts

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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