Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Category: Breaking

Listen: METALLICA’s JAMES HETFIELD Drops Heavy Metal Ornaments on ‘A Visit From St. Nicholas’
Breaking, Music News

Listen: METALLICA’s JAMES HETFIELD Drops Heavy Metal Ornaments on ‘A Visit From St. Nicholas’

Chord F. DiscordDecember 19, 2025December 19, 2025

James Hetfield vs. Santa Claus: The Epic Battle for Christmas Supremacy Begins Now (Spoiler: He Wins) πŸŽΈπŸŽ… In a move…

GHOST Teams Up With FEEDLA And SERVE ROBOTICS To Haunt Hungry Inglewood With Surprise Snacks
Breaking, Music News

GHOST Teams Up With FEEDLA And SERVE ROBOTICS To Haunt Hungry Inglewood With Surprise Snacks

Chord F. DiscordDecember 19, 2025December 19, 2025

Ghost’s Skele-Bot Delivers More Than Just Riffs in Inglewood Charity Stunt πŸ€–πŸŽ In a move that’s equal parts charitable and…

The 10 Most Underrated Movies of 2025 (Because Apparently No One Has Taste)
Breaking, Movie News

The 10 Most Underrated Movies of 2025 (Because Apparently No One Has Taste)

FinnDecember 18, 2025December 18, 2025

Based on the complete and utter financial train wreck that was this year’s box office, there are only two possible…

Trump Finally Discovers the Green Light: Signs Order to Fast-Track Pot Reclassification After Big Cannabis Promised Him a Free Sample
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Finally Discovers the Green Light: Signs Order to Fast-Track Pot Reclassification After Big Cannabis Promised Him a Free Sample

Big ElephantDecember 18, 2025December 18, 2025

Trump’s Executive Order to Reclassify Marijuana: A Common-Sense Move or a Plot by Big Weed to Take Over America? In…

Carla Harvey Claims She Got the Boot from Butcher Babiesβ€”Turns Out Heavy Metal Has a Dress Code
Breaking, Music News

Carla Harvey Claims She Got the Boot from Butcher Babiesβ€”Turns Out Heavy Metal Has a Dress Code

Chord F. DiscordDecember 18, 2025December 18, 2025

Carla Harvey, the Queen of Dramatic Entrances and Exit Strategies, has officially traded screaming into a microphone for screaming into…

Behemoth’s Nergal Explains Why ‘The S*** Ov God’ is Deep Philosophy and Not Just Him Feeling Rebellious After Taco Night
Breaking, Music News

Behemoth’s Nergal Explains Why ‘The S*** Ov God’ is Deep Philosophy and Not Just Him Feeling Rebellious After Taco Night

Chord F. DiscordDecember 18, 2025December 18, 2025

Behemoth’s Nergal Just Dropped a Truth Bomb So Big, It Summoned a Demon From Target 🀯πŸ”₯ In a shocking turn…

Courts Tell Trump-Backed Snoops to Try Again, Maybe With a Cookie Recipe
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Courts Tell Trump-Backed Snoops to Try Again, Maybe With a Cookie Recipe

Big ElephantDecember 18, 2025December 18, 2025

Trump’s FOIA Fishing Expedition Flops: Judge Slams Door on America First Legal’s Judicial Stalker Scheme In a stunning twist that…

The Rise of Regional Game Studios as Global Competitors: From Basement Coders to Billion-Dollar Bullies
Breaking, Games News

The Rise of Regional Game Studios as Global Competitors: From Basement Coders to Billion-Dollar Bullies

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 18, 2025December 18, 2025

Move over, Silicon Valley hipsters with your $12 avocado toast and kombucha obsessionsβ€”there’s a new sheriff in town, and they…

Hugh Jackman trades claws for wool in The Sheep Detectives – baaah humbug!
Breaking, Movie News

Hugh Jackman trades claws for wool in The Sheep Detectives – baaah humbug!

FinnDecember 18, 2025December 18, 2025

Move over Sherlock Holmes, there’s a new crime-fighting duo in townβ€”two sheep who’ve traded their wool for trench coats and…

Trump’s New β€œWarrior Dividend” Means Soldiers Get Stock Options Instead of Showers
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s New β€œWarrior Dividend” Means Soldiers Get Stock Options Instead of Showers

Big ElephantDecember 18, 2025December 18, 2025

Trump’s β€œWarrior Dividend” Bonuses: A $1,776 Gift to Troopsβ€”Paid for with Their Own Housing Money! In a move that’s equal…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 185 186 187 … 391 Next

Latest posts

  • Get Ready to Empty Your Wallet at the Most Epic 2026 Spartina 449 Warehouse Sale of the Century Where You’ll Buy All the Stuff You Don’t Need
  • The Face Says 25. The Knees Say Otherwise
  • British Government Gives Religious Exemption For Suicide Vests
  • Starmer Sets Up Commission To Respond To Attempted Beheading UPDATE: The Commission Has Been Beheaded
  • ‘Disclosure Day’ Causes Audiences To Question Their Faith In Steven Spielberg

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
June 2026
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930  
« May    
Copyright Β© 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}