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Category: Breaking

Navy Sends Mark Kelly a Participation Trophy for Best Improv in the ‘Oops I Illegally Ordered Something’ Skit
Leftist Senator Mark Kelly's Sedition Circus Reaches New Heights as Navy Mulls Punishment for Treasonous 'Refuse Illegal Orders' Video
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Navy Sends Mark Kelly a Participation Trophy for Best Improv in the ‘Oops I Illegally Ordered Something’ Skit

Big ElephantDecember 11, 2025December 11, 2025

In a stunning display of Democratic double standards, the US Navy has reportedly handed over “recommendations” on how to punish…

The New ‘Supergirl’ Takes Flight in First Trailer and Apparently Your Mom’s Heart
Breaking, Movie News

The New ‘Supergirl’ Takes Flight in First Trailer and Apparently Your Mom’s Heart

FinnDecember 11, 2025December 11, 2025

When Supergirl first flew onto the big screen in 1984, she didn’t just crash-land — she face-planted directly into the…

Elon Musk declares DOGE a ‘part-time triumph’ and vows never to memestorm again
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Elon Musk declares DOGE a ‘part-time triumph’ and vows never to memestorm again

Big ElephantDecember 11, 2025December 11, 2025

Elon Musk Admits DOGE Project Was Only “Somewhat Successful” — Translation: He Finally Realized Woke Crypto Was a Trojan Horse…

Disney Gives OpenAI the Keys to Its Character Closet in a Billion-Dollar Handoff
Breaking, Movie News

Disney Gives OpenAI the Keys to Its Character Closet in a Billion-Dollar Handoff

FinnDecember 11, 2025December 11, 2025

Hold onto your mouse ears, folks — Disney just sold its soul to the AI devil for a measly $1…

Taylor Swift Struggles to Pick Her Own Best Songs Because Apparently Even She Can’t Keep Up With Her Own Bops
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Taylor Swift Struggles to Pick Her Own Best Songs Because Apparently Even She Can’t Keep Up With Her Own Bops

Big ElephantDecember 11, 2025December 11, 2025

Taylor Swift, in a stunning display of humility (and perhaps a severe case of amnesia), recently appeared on Stephen Colbert’s…

ICE Has a Bad Day as Judge Declares ‘Free the Abrego’ and Custody Can’t Hold Him Any Longer
Leftist Judge Orders Release of Deported Criminal, Proving Once Again That the Deep State Hates America
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

ICE Has a Bad Day as Judge Declares ‘Free the Abrego’ and Custody Can’t Hold Him Any Longer

Big ElephantDecember 11, 2025December 11, 2025

In a stunning act of judicial overreach that could only come from an Obama-appointed activist judge, a federal court in…

Protesters crash DHS Secretary Noem’s testimony like she was hosting a family reunion they weren’t invited to
Sherrone Moore: The Wokest Coach in Football Gets Fired for Not Being Progressive Enough
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Protesters crash DHS Secretary Noem’s testimony like she was hosting a family reunion they weren’t invited to

Big ElephantDecember 11, 2025December 11, 2025

In a stunning turn of events that has everyone in the locker room scratching their heads, University of Michigan’s head…

“Hold Onto Your Blocks: Minecraft’s New Barely-Controllable Pixel Beasts & MoJank’s Latest Recipe for Chaos!”
Breaking, Games News

“Hold Onto Your Blocks: Minecraft’s New Barely-Controllable Pixel Beasts & MoJank’s Latest Recipe for Chaos!”

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 11, 2025December 11, 2025

🐄 Hold onto your pickaxes, folks, because Minecraft just dropped its latest “content bomb”—Mounts of Mayhem™—and it’s precisely as chaotic…

Jennifer Lawrence Agrees to Return to Hunger Games Reboot Because Apparently Her Bank Account Is Feeling Hungry Too
🚨 BREAKING: Jennifer Lawrence and Josh Hutcherson Are Returning to the Hunger Games Universe, Because Apparently, We All Forgot to Die in 2015 🚨 🎬🍿
Breaking, Movie News

Jennifer Lawrence Agrees to Return to Hunger Games Reboot Because Apparently Her Bank Account Is Feeling Hungry Too

FinnDecember 11, 2025December 11, 2025

In a shocking twist that NO ONE saw coming (except everyone with eyes, ears, and a passing familiarity with Hollywood’s…

EPICA Releases New Single ‘Avatar – The Final Incarnation’ and It’s Not Even the Sequel
EPICA Drops New Single 'Avatar - The Final Incarnation': Because the World Clearly Needed One More Symphony in D Minor 🎻✨
Breaking, Music News

EPICA Releases New Single ‘Avatar – The Final Incarnation’ and It’s Not Even the Sequel

Chord F. DiscordDecember 11, 2025December 11, 2025

In a shocking turn of events that nobody saw coming (except their entire fanbase, their label, and literally everyone with…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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