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Category: Breaking

Check out a sneak peek of the new Street Fighter movie and witness martial arts chaos that’s almost as real as the plot
Breaking, Movie News

Check out a sneak peek of the new Street Fighter movie and witness martial arts chaos that’s almost as real as the plot

FinnDecember 12, 2025December 12, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: The Street Fighter Movie Just Dropped a Trailer and the Internet Has Already Lost 1000 Lives 🚨 🎮💥…

John Carpenter’s Toxic Commando (PC) Preview—When Your Graphics Card Cries for Help
Breaking, Games News

John Carpenter’s Toxic Commando (PC) Preview—When Your Graphics Card Cries for Help

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 12, 2025December 12, 2025

Imagine a world where the only thing standing between you and total existential dread is a chainsaw, a chainsaw-wielding mutant,…

Watch: EVANESCENCE Plays ‘Afterlife’ At 2025 GAME AWARDS—Apparently the Afterlife Is Full of Loot Boxes
Breaking, Games News, Music News

Watch: EVANESCENCE Plays ‘Afterlife’ At 2025 GAME AWARDS—Apparently the Afterlife Is Full of Loot Boxes

Chord F. DiscordDecember 12, 2025December 12, 2025

EVANESCENCE Just Stole the Show at the Game Awards, Because Apparently, Video Games Needed a Goth Makeover 🎮🖤 In a…

BRIAN WHEAT, TOMMY SKEOCH And CHRIS HOLMES Reveal How Their Midlife Crisis Turned Into a ‘Rocking’ New Collaborative Project Called TERMINAL
Breaking, Music News

BRIAN WHEAT, TOMMY SKEOCH And CHRIS HOLMES Reveal How Their Midlife Crisis Turned Into a ‘Rocking’ New Collaborative Project Called TERMINAL

Chord F. DiscordDecember 12, 2025December 12, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Rock Band Supergroup Formed! 🎸 All Your Faves Are Collabing on a New Project Called TERMINAL! 💥 In…

‘Supergirl’ Trailer Easter Eggs: All the Secrets You Missed (You Probably Squeezed Your Brain Over Nothing)
Breaking, Movie News

‘Supergirl’ Trailer Easter Eggs: All the Secrets You Missed (You Probably Squeezed Your Brain Over Nothing)

FinnDecember 12, 2025December 12, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Supergirl Movie Announced, Internet Immediately Splits Into Two Camps — People Who Care and People Who Are Obviously…

The Obamacare Year-End Panic: Because Nothing Says Democracy Like Last-Minute Legislative Gymnastics
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

The Obamacare Year-End Panic: Because Nothing Says Democracy Like Last-Minute Legislative Gymnastics

Big ElephantDecember 12, 2025December 12, 2025

Obamacare Premiums Set to Explode: Democrats Blame Republicans for Not Fixing Law They Voted For Themselves In a stunning twist…

KFILE Exclusive: Epstein’s Rolodex of Enablers Includes a Former Obama White House Lawyer Who Apparently Thought Crimes Were Just ‘Legal Gray Areas’
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

KFILE Exclusive: Epstein’s Rolodex of Enablers Includes a Former Obama White House Lawyer Who Apparently Thought Crimes Were Just ‘Legal Gray Areas’

Big ElephantDecember 11, 2025December 11, 2025

Breaking: Leftist Cabal Exposed! Obama Admin’s “Great Defender” of Pedophiles Revealed in FBI Files In a stunning revelation that will…

Gene Simmons Weeps at 2025 Kennedy Center Honors While Pretending Ace Frehley Wasn’t Missing
Breaking, Music News

Gene Simmons Weeps at 2025 Kennedy Center Honors While Pretending Ace Frehley Wasn’t Missing

Chord F. DiscordDecember 11, 2025December 11, 2025

Gene Simmons Just Casually Declared Himself a Greek God While Accepting a Kennedy Center Honor, Because of Course He Did…

The Game Awards 2025: Warlock: Dungeons & Dragons, Finally an Original RPG That’s Not a Sequel, Remake, or Reboot
Breaking, Games News

The Game Awards 2025: Warlock: Dungeons & Dragons, Finally an Original RPG That’s Not a Sequel, Remake, or Reboot

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 11, 2025December 11, 2025

Attention, ye brave adventurers! 🗡️ A dire prophecy has been foretold at The Game Awards 2025, and it involves a…

Why Mortgage Rates Today Are More Unpredictable Than Your Ex’s Mood Swings
Rate Cuts! Mortgage Rates! The Fed Just Fed Us Another Plate of Leftist Propaganda!
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Why Mortgage Rates Today Are More Unpredictable Than Your Ex’s Mood Swings

Big ElephantDecember 11, 2025December 11, 2025

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the Fed trying to make us all feel better about the economy they’ve been…

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Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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