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Category: Breaking

Stryper’s Christmas Album: Prepare for a Yellow and Black Attack on Your Holiday Cheer
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Stryper’s Christmas Album: Prepare for a Yellow and Black Attack on Your Holiday Cheer

Big ElephantDecember 7, 2025December 7, 2025

Oh, great, CNN is peddling Stryper’s Christmas album. As if we need more leftist Hollywood elites trying to force their…

Smerconish Demands 100% Transparency on Totally Real US Strikes on Super-Duper Evil Drug Traffickers
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Smerconish Demands 100% Transparency on Totally Real US Strikes on Super-Duper Evil Drug Traffickers

Big ElephantDecember 7, 2025December 7, 2025

Smerconish, that bastion of truth at CNN (aka Communist News Network), is now worried about “transparency” in our strikes against…

‘War on Drugs’ Declared FINALLY Over, Trump Revives It Like a Zombie—Thanks, Obama
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

‘War on Drugs’ Declared FINALLY Over, Trump Revives It Like a Zombie—Thanks, Obama

Big ElephantDecember 7, 2025December 7, 2025

**CNN is at it again, folks, trying to make President Trump look like some kind of war-mongering drug lord. They…

Avantasia’s Tobias Sammet Cries Like A Baby Over The Impending Doom Of Ozzy And Ace (They’re Not Even Dead Yet, What A Drama Queen)
Breaking, Music News

Avantasia’s Tobias Sammet Cries Like A Baby Over The Impending Doom Of Ozzy And Ace (They’re Not Even Dead Yet, What A Drama Queen)

Chord F. DiscordDecember 7, 2025December 7, 2025

In a groundbreaking interview with Chile’s prestigious SonarFM (a.k.a. the only radio station willing to talk to him), AVANTASIA overlord…

SOL Shogunate Unveiled At The PC Gaming Show: Prepare To Be Mildly Interested
Breaking, Games News

SOL Shogunate Unveiled At The PC Gaming Show: Prepare To Be Mildly Interested

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 7, 2025December 7, 2025

Breaking News: Some Random Studio Thinks They Can Make a Samurai Game in Space 😂. Chaos Manufacturing (never heard of…

‘Men in Black’ Reboot: Because Hollywood Has ZERO Original Ideas
Breaking, Movie News

‘Men in Black’ Reboot: Because Hollywood Has ZERO Original Ideas

FinnDecember 7, 2025December 7, 2025

Hold onto your Neuralyzers, folks, because the cinematic overlords at Sony Pictures are reportedly cooking up another Men in Black…

Netflix to Buy Warner Bros. for Pocket Lint and a Used Tissue
Breaking, Movie News

Netflix to Buy Warner Bros. for Pocket Lint and a Used Tissue

FinnDecember 7, 2025December 7, 2025

🤡 Hold on to your hats, folks, because the clown show has officially arrived! Netflix, in a move so shocking…

ADAM GONTIER on THREE DAYS GRACE’s Tag-Team Vocals: “The Fans Deserved This Circus”
Breaking, Music News

ADAM GONTIER on THREE DAYS GRACE’s Tag-Team Vocals: “The Fans Deserved This Circus”

Chord F. DiscordDecember 7, 2025December 7, 2025

In a groundbreaking interview with Estonia’s AlteRock, the dynamic duo of THREE DAYS GRACE – Adam Gontier and Matt Walst…

CNN Discovers Trump’s SHOCKING Kennedy Center Makeover: You Won’t BELIEVE What He Did
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Discovers Trump’s SHOCKING Kennedy Center Makeover: You Won’t BELIEVE What He Did

Big ElephantDecember 7, 2025December 7, 2025

Well, folks, looks like CNN is at it again, whining about President Trump making the Kennedy Center GREAT AGAIN! Apparently,…

From Gold Medal to Jail Cell: This Snowboarder’s Wild Ride to the FBI’s Most Wanted List
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

From Gold Medal to Jail Cell: This Snowboarder’s Wild Ride to the FBI’s Most Wanted List

Big ElephantDecember 6, 2025December 6, 2025

Another snowflake melts into a puddle of liberal tears! Former Olympian Ryan Wedding, who probably voted for Biden, is now…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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