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Category: Breaking

Wounded Knee: Government Still Dishing Out Medals Like Candy, Descendants Still Salty
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Wounded Knee: Government Still Dishing Out Medals Like Candy, Descendants Still Salty

Big ElephantNovember 25, 2025November 25, 2025

Another Day, Another Liberal Lament: Wounded Knee Edition! The woke mob is at it again, folks, trying to rewrite history…

Prince of Persia: Sands of Time Remake Still Kicking? Leaks Say Yes (LOL)
Breaking, Games News

Prince of Persia: Sands of Time Remake Still Kicking? Leaks Say Yes (LOL)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 25, 2025November 25, 2025

Well, well, well, look what we have here! Another Ubisoft leak! 🤣 Seems like someone over there can’t keep their…

Ohio School’s Gratitude So Contagious, It’s Basically a Zombie Apocalypse of Thankfulness
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Ohio School’s Gratitude So Contagious, It’s Basically a Zombie Apocalypse of Thankfulness

Big ElephantNovember 25, 2025November 25, 2025

Another day, another pathetic attempt by the liberal media to brainwash our kids! This “Positivity Pod” nonsense in Ohio is…

DOGE dead? Shocker, says nobody ever | CNN Politics
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

DOGE dead? Shocker, says nobody ever | CNN Politics

Big ElephantNovember 25, 2025November 25, 2025

Fake News CNN is at it again, trying to undermine President Trump’s brilliant efforts to drain the swamp! They’re spreading…

Frankie Goes To Hollywood’s Pleasuredome: A Deluxe Edition? More Like a Deluxe Distraction!
Breaking, Music News

Frankie Goes To Hollywood’s Pleasuredome: A Deluxe Edition? More Like a Deluxe Distraction!

Chord F. DiscordNovember 25, 2025November 25, 2025

Frankie Goes To Hollywood – Welcome To The Pleasuredome Deluxe Edition (UMR). Oh honey, they REALLY think we care about…

GOP Tantrum Over Trump’s Mystery Health Plan: A Comedy Show in the Making
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

GOP Tantrum Over Trump’s Mystery Health Plan: A Comedy Show in the Making

Big ElephantNovember 25, 2025November 25, 2025

Fake News CNN is at it again, folks! They’re whining that some RINOs are squawking about President Trump’s AMAZING new…

SEPULTURA’s Last Ever European Show (Until the Next One) is a ‘Must-Miss’
Breaking, Music News

SEPULTURA’s Last Ever European Show (Until the Next One) is a ‘Must-Miss’

Chord F. DiscordNovember 25, 2025November 25, 2025

OMG! 😱 Sepultura, those ancient Brazilians👴 with their didgeridoos and tribal beats🥁, are STILL around? After, like, FOUR DECADES of…

Ty Cobb smacks down Trump’s ‘technicality’ whine – more bogus than a comb-over in a hurricane | CNN Politics
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Ty Cobb smacks down Trump’s ‘technicality’ whine – more bogus than a comb-over in a hurricane | CNN Politics

Big ElephantNovember 25, 2025November 25, 2025

Here we go again, folks! Another Deep State operative, Ty Cobb (probably a secret Democrat, if you ask me), is…

Jesse Jackson Escapes Hospital, ICU Doctors Baffled | CNN
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Jesse Jackson Escapes Hospital, ICU Doctors Baffled | CNN

Big ElephantNovember 25, 2025November 25, 2025

Another day, another liberal icon needing a taxpayer-funded hospital visit! “Civil Rights Leader” Jesse Jackson, fresh from plotting who-knows-what with…

Emmett Till’s Lynching Barn: Now Open for Your Souvenir Photos
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Emmett Till’s Lynching Barn: Now Open for Your Souvenir Photos

Big ElephantNovember 25, 2025November 25, 2025

Oh, great, another guilt trip from the Libs! Now they’re turning a barn into a “sacred” memorial site for Emmett…

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Latest posts

  • Amazon Abruptly Cancels Movie About Sam Altman Because Let’s Be Real Who Cares About Some Guy and His AI Company Anyway
  • Gang of Dragon Still NOT Dead Because Let’s Be Real Who Needs Founders Anyway Nagoshi Studio Is Totally Fine Without Them
  • Breaking News: Fallout Season 3 Just Became 1000% More Interesting Because They Added Some Guy from That One Show Your Nephew Watches Manny Jacinto
  • BEARTOOTH Finally Decides to Release Actual Bulls*** From Their Super Original and Not at All Overhyped ‘Pure Ecstasy’ Album That Will Definitely Change the Face of Music Forever
  • SKUNK ANANSIE Still Trying to be Relevant Releases Super Original Not at All a Cry for Help New Take On ‘Meltdown’ With ‘Blackhill Remix’ That You’ll Definitely Listen to More Than Once

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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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