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Category: Breaking

Trump Resurrects Lake America Because That Worked So Well Last Time
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Resurrects Lake America Because That Worked So Well Last Time

Big ElephantAugust 28, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about President Donald Trump’s latest move, and folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading…

Puerto Rico runs dry because who needs water anyway
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Puerto Rico runs dry because who needs water anyway

Big ElephantAugust 28, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The water crisis in Puerto Rico is getting out of hand.…

Mormon Temple Gets Extreme Makeover Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Mormon Temple Gets Extreme Makeover Apparently

Big ElephantAugust 28, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The Salt Lake Temple, a six-spired, Gothic Revival temple in downtown…

Kids These Days Gambled $5 Billion on Kalshi
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Kids These Days Gambled $5 Billion on Kalshi

Big ElephantAugust 28, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems that young adults between 18 and 21 have been…

Dio’s Ghost Trapped In Overpriced VR Experience
Breaking, Music News

Dio’s Ghost Trapped In Overpriced VR Experience

Chord F. DiscordAugust 28, 2026August 28, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for this? 🤯 Ronnie James Dio is coming to KnuckleBonz360, because what every metalhead…

Dino Cazares still trying to make Fear Factory happen with new dude
Breaking, Music News

Dino Cazares still trying to make Fear Factory happen with new dude

Chord F. DiscordAugust 28, 2026August 28, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some robotic metal goodness? 🤖 FEAR FACTORY is back with a brand new…

The Gentlemen Season 2 Trailer is Finally Here to Save Us All from Our Miserable Lives and Clearly the Most Important Thing Happening This Year
Breaking, Movie News

The Gentlemen Season 2 Trailer is Finally Here to Save Us All from Our Miserable Lives and Clearly the Most Important Thing Happening This Year

FinnAugust 28, 2026August 28, 2026

It’s that time… again 🕰️! Netflix has released the full-length trailer of Guy Ritchie’s ‘The Gentlemen Season 2’, launching September…

Because You Clearly Needed Another Toy Story
Breaking, Movie News

Because You Clearly Needed Another Toy Story

FinnAugust 28, 2026August 28, 2026

Disney+ is getting a new addition to its vast library of content, because what’s a streaming platform without a little…

Because Hollywood Needed Another Excuse for a Reboot Peter Cullen Dies at 85
Breaking, Movie News

Because Hollywood Needed Another Excuse for a Reboot Peter Cullen Dies at 85

FinnAugust 28, 2026August 28, 2026

The voice that defined heroism for ’80s kids has died. Peter Cullen, the legendary actor behind the iconic voice of…

Judge saves democracy from itself, temporarily
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Judge saves democracy from itself, temporarily

Big ElephantAugust 28, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one – a federal judge in Boston has temporarily blocked the US…

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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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