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Category: Breaking

You Won’t Believe Who Vance Thinks Will Run in 2028
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

You Won’t Believe Who Vance Thinks Will Run in 2028

Big ElephantJune 30, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading this article about Vice President JD Vance predicting that Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez will be…

You Won’t Believe What Some Genius Tried On A Plane
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

You Won’t Believe What Some Genius Tried On A Plane

Big ElephantJune 30, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and trying to wrap my head around this one, folks. A passenger on a United Airlines…

SCOTUS Smacks Down Donald On Birthright Citizenship Again
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

SCOTUS Smacks Down Donald On Birthright Citizenship Again

Big ElephantJune 30, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The Supreme Court just ruled that President Donald Trump’s administration can’t…

GOP Leaders Losing Control Fast
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

GOP Leaders Losing Control Fast

Big ElephantJune 30, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest drama in the House, and I just can’t help but…

Alissa White-Gluz and Dragonforce’s super secret collab that nobody actually cared about
Breaking, Music News

Alissa White-Gluz and Dragonforce’s super secret collab that nobody actually cared about

Chord F. DiscordJune 30, 2026June 30, 2026

OH MY GOD, YOU GUYS! 🤯 Alissa White-Gluz is joining DragonForce and I’m still trying to pick my jaw up…

Wildfires gone wild across America huh
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Wildfires gone wild across America huh

Big ElephantJune 30, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the wildfires across the United States, and let me tell you, it’s…

Because What Games Need Are Overpriced Brand Branded Power Banks
Breaking, Games News

Because What Games Need Are Overpriced Brand Branded Power Banks

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 30, 2026June 30, 2026

Because apparently we haven’t milked this franchise enough yet, HoYoverse and UGREEN are teaming up to bring us a limited-edition…

Another Splatoon Rehash With Fresh Coat Of Paint Coming Right Up
Breaking, Games News

Another Splatoon Rehash With Fresh Coat Of Paint Coming Right Up

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 30, 2026June 30, 2026

When Splatoon Raiders was announced, I’ll admit I was skeptical. The magic of the Splatoon series is steeped in the…

Oh Joy Another Movie About a Guy Who Turns into a Furry Little Dog Man to Terrorize Medieval Villages courtesy of that Super Original Guy Robert Eggers
Breaking, Movie News

Oh Joy Another Movie About a Guy Who Turns into a Furry Little Dog Man to Terrorize Medieval Villages courtesy of that Super Original Guy Robert Eggers

FinnJune 30, 2026June 30, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for the most epic and thrilling experience of your life? 😂 I mean, who…

Clinton Aide Backpedals On Epstein Island Claim
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Clinton Aide Backpedals On Epstein Island Claim

Big ElephantJune 30, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest antics of Bill Clinton and his team, and I have…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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