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Category: Breaking

Breaking News: Kansas Hires Some Dude With a Guitar, World Panics
Breaking, Music News

Breaking News: Kansas Hires Some Dude With a Guitar, World Panics

Chord F. DiscordAugust 20, 2025August 20, 2025

OMG! 😱😱😱 You guys will NOT believe this! KANSAS, yes, THE KANSAS, has apparently decided that their sound wasn’t generic…

Phil Campbell, the DEFINITELY-not-heavy-metal guitarist (ex-MOTÖRHEAD)
Breaking, Music News

Phil Campbell, the DEFINITELY-not-heavy-metal guitarist (ex-MOTÖRHEAD)

Chord F. DiscordAugust 20, 2025August 20, 2025

In a groundbreaking interview with that well-known journalist Andrew McKaysmith of Scars And Guitars podcast, Phil Campbell, the *former* guitarist…

Colin Farrell Hides in Macau Like a Coward in ‘Ballad of a Tiny Gambler’ Trailer
Breaking, Movie News

Colin Farrell Hides in Macau Like a Coward in ‘Ballad of a Tiny Gambler’ Trailer

FinnAugust 20, 2025August 20, 2025

Oh, look! Another movie where Colin Farrell mumbles his way through existential dread! 🙄 In “Ballad of a Small Player,”…

Rocky Horror Doc Trailer Drops: Prepare for Sequins, Sass, and Existential Dread
Breaking, Movie News

Rocky Horror Doc Trailer Drops: Prepare for Sequins, Sass, and Existential Dread

FinnAugust 20, 2025August 20, 2025

Kaleidoscope Entertainment, bless their cotton socks, have graced us with a trailer for Strange Journey: The Story of Rocky Horror.…

DIE KRUPPS Finally Signs With DEPENDENT RECORDS; New Album Coming When Pigs Fly, Maybe 2026
Breaking, Music News

DIE KRUPPS Finally Signs With DEPENDENT RECORDS; New Album Coming When Pigs Fly, Maybe 2026

Chord F. DiscordAugust 20, 2025August 20, 2025

DIE KRUPPS, those lovable relics of the industrial age (the FIRST one, not the current dumpster fire), have apparently convinced…

Avengers: Endgame: 999+ Easter Eggs You DEFINITELY Didn’t See (You Pleb)
Breaking, Movie News

Avengers: Endgame: 999+ Easter Eggs You DEFINITELY Didn’t See (You Pleb)

FinnAugust 20, 2025August 20, 2025

Okay, so 🙄Avengers: Endgame, right? Like, it was supposed to be the biggest, most epic thing EVER. And, I guess…

ROG Xbox Ally and ROG Xbox Ally X Finally Crawling Out of the Void at Gamescom 2025
Breaking, Games News

ROG Xbox Ally and ROG Xbox Ally X Finally Crawling Out of the Void at Gamescom 2025

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 20, 2025August 20, 2025

Oh, Gamescom 2025, you tease! 🙄 ASUS, in their infinite wisdom (or maybe just because they felt like it), decided…

Triangle Strategy Finally Escapes Nintendo’s Clutches, Invades Xbox Today
Breaking, Games News

Triangle Strategy Finally Escapes Nintendo’s Clutches, Invades Xbox Today

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 20, 2025August 20, 2025

Oh, look, Xbox “kicked off” its gamescom 2025 “Day 1” broadcast by announcing Triangle Strategy is gracing their consoles with…

My Dying Bride Scraps New Album, Has Only ‘Bits Of Three Songs’ Ready: ‘We’re Always Procrastinating’
Breaking, Music News

My Dying Bride Scraps New Album, Has Only ‘Bits Of Three Songs’ Ready: ‘We’re Always Procrastinating’

Chord F. DiscordAugust 20, 2025August 20, 2025

So, MY DYING BRIDE, those purveyors of sonic melancholy, have decided to shake things up a bit, or rather, throw…

Gamescom ONL 2025: Prepare to be Mildly Titillated by Mediocrity!
Breaking, Games News

Gamescom ONL 2025: Prepare to be Mildly Titillated by Mediocrity!

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 19, 2025August 19, 2025

Alright, gamers, gather ’round and prepare to be mildly amused by the sheer spectacle of gamescom ONL 2025, where the…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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