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Category: Breaking

Netflix’s ‘13 Going on 30’ Reboot: Because We All Needed More Regret and Sparkly Dresses in Our Lives
Breaking, Movie News

Netflix’s ‘13 Going on 30’ Reboot: Because We All Needed More Regret and Sparkly Dresses in Our Lives

FinnMarch 25, 2026March 25, 2026

Oh, great. Another remake. Just what we needed. As if the world wasn’t already overflowing with recycled content, Netflix is…

GEORGE LYNCH: Getting Up Close And Personal With EDDIE VAN HALEN In The 1970s Was A Total Brain-Melting, Mind-Bending, “How The Heck Did He Do That?” Experience
George Lynch Shares Priceless Van Halen Stories
Breaking, Music News

GEORGE LYNCH: Getting Up Close And Personal With EDDIE VAN HALEN In The 1970s Was A Total Brain-Melting, Mind-Bending, “How The Heck Did He Do That?” Experience

Chord F. DiscordMarch 25, 2026March 25, 2026

So George Lynch, the dude from Dokken, was recently jawing with Tommy Colletti from The Music Zoo, and apparently Lynch…

OpenAI Pulls Plug on Sora Video App: Because Who Needs Innovation Anyway?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

OpenAI Pulls Plug on Sora Video App: Because Who Needs Innovation Anyway?

Big ElephantMarch 25, 2026March 25, 2026

Liberal Tech Elites Suffer Another Embarrassing Defeat as OpenAI Kills Off Woke Video App Well, well, well! It looks like…

Republican Phil Berger, One of North Carolina’s Most Powerful Politicians, Throws in the Towel on State Senate Race Because Democracy Demands It (Or Maybe He Just Got Tired of Winning)
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Republican Phil Berger, One of North Carolina’s Most Powerful Politicians, Throws in the Towel on State Senate Race Because Democracy Demands It (Or Maybe He Just Got Tired of Winning)

Big ElephantMarch 25, 2026March 25, 2026

North Carolina’s Most Powerful GOP Senator Takes a Dirt Nap Thanks to MAGA Anger Well, well, well… look who just…

Prosecutor Confesses: No Evidence, Just Fed-Up Over Powell’s Fancy Office Makeover
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Prosecutor Confesses: No Evidence, Just Fed-Up Over Powell’s Fancy Office Makeover

Big ElephantMarch 25, 2026March 25, 2026

DOJ Prosecutor Admits No Evidence of Fed Crimes, Still Blames Powell Anyway Well, folks, here we go again with the…

Minecraft Dungeons 2: Now With 100% More Dungeons and 200% More Confusion at Minecraft Live 2026
Hold Onto Your Pickaxes, Folks! Minecraft Dungeons 2 Is Coming to Ruin Your Life (Again)
Breaking, Games News

Minecraft Dungeons 2: Now With 100% More Dungeons and 200% More Confusion at Minecraft Live 2026

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMarch 24, 2026March 24, 2026

Well, well, well, look who decided to crawl out from under their cobblestone bed and grace us with their presence.…

Dwayne Johnson’s Live-Action Maui Makes His Grand Entrance in New ‘Moana’ Trailer—Brace Yourself for Rock-Solid Performances!
Breaking, Movie News

Dwayne Johnson’s Live-Action Maui Makes His Grand Entrance in New ‘Moana’ Trailer—Brace Yourself for Rock-Solid Performances!

FinnMarch 24, 2026March 24, 2026

Oh great, another Disney “live-action” remake, because apparently the 2016 animated classic wasn’t *real* enough for us. Now we’re getting…

John Boyega: Back for More Galactic Shenanigans or Just Messing With Our Minds?
John Boyega Might Return to Star Wars… or Maybe He's Just Trolling Us All
Breaking, Movie News

John Boyega: Back for More Galactic Shenanigans or Just Messing With Our Minds?

FinnMarch 24, 2026March 24, 2026

Oh look, it’s Finn’s triumphant return to the galaxy far, far away—or at least his phone call to Dave Filoni.…

DINO CAZARES Praises New FEAR FACTORY Singer MILO SILVESTRO for Mastering the Art of Surviving on Tour Without Losing His Sanity (Yet)
Breaking, Music News

DINO CAZARES Praises New FEAR FACTORY Singer MILO SILVESTRO for Mastering the Art of Surviving on Tour Without Losing His Sanity (Yet)

Chord F. DiscordMarch 24, 2026March 24, 2026

FEAR FACTORY has a new singer, and apparently he can actually remember the lyrics without his phone. Revolutionary, I know.…

California Sheriff with Political Ambitions Confiscates Over Half a Million Ballots from 2025 Election — Because Democracy Needs a Timeout
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

California Sheriff with Political Ambitions Confiscates Over Half a Million Ballots from 2025 Election — Because Democracy Needs a Timeout

Big ElephantMarch 24, 2026March 24, 2026

California Sheriff Chad Bianco Launches Investigation Into Ballot Count Discrepancy – Democrats Panic Riverside County Sheriff Chad Bianco, a Republican…

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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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