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Category: Breaking

FBI Hacked: Because Cybersecurity is Optional Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

FBI Hacked: Because Cybersecurity is Optional Apparently

Big ElephantSeptember 22, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest cyber breach, and I’ve got to say, it’s a doozy.…

Trump’s Team Somehow Manages 1100 Trades Without Losing Everything
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Team Somehow Manages 1100 Trades Without Losing Everything

Big ElephantSeptember 22, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. President Donald Trump’s money managers made a whopping 1,152 trades on…

University of Mississippi Becomes Unexpected Summer Vacation Destination
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

University of Mississippi Becomes Unexpected Summer Vacation Destination

Big ElephantSeptember 22, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest news from the University of Mississippi, where two students tragically…

Melania Disagrees With Husband For Once
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Melania Disagrees With Husband For Once

Big ElephantSeptember 22, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. President Donald Trump has implemented a ban on CNN, MS NOW,…

Court Tells Surrogate to Butt Out of Baby’s Medical Decisions
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Court Tells Surrogate to Butt Out of Baby’s Medical Decisions

Big ElephantSeptember 22, 2026

I’m sitting here sipping my coffee, trying to wrap my head around this wild story. The Supreme Court has declined…

White South Africans Get Priority Refugee Status Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

White South Africans Get Priority Refugee Status Apparently

Big ElephantSeptember 22, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading this article about the Trump administration’s plan to accept 17,500 refugees, primarily White South…

Kamala Harris Rescues Michigan Senate Race With Much Needed Star Power
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Kamala Harris Rescues Michigan Senate Race With Much Needed Star Power

Big ElephantSeptember 22, 2026

Kamala Harris is heading to Michigan to campaign with Senate nominee Abdul El-Sayed, and folks, I almost spilled my coffee…

Fentanyl Claims Another Celebrity Life Completely Out of Nowhere Somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Fentanyl Claims Another Celebrity Life Completely Out of Nowhere Somehow

Big ElephantSeptember 22, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The news about Hayden Panettiere’s passing is just tragic. According to…

Trump Loses Favorite Photo Ops Due to Petty Press Ban
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Loses Favorite Photo Ops Due to Petty Press Ban

Big ElephantSeptember 22, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest drama between the White House and the press corps, and folks,…

Bambu Lab peddles $3000 hobby laser cutter to wealthy DIY enthusiasts
Breaking

Bambu Lab peddles $3000 hobby laser cutter to wealthy DIY enthusiasts

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 22, 2026September 22, 2026

Get ready to unleash your inner maker, because Bambu Lab has just announced the R1, a 55 W CO2 laser…

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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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