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Category: Breaking

Sneaky Iran somehow benefited from our noble war efforts
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Sneaky Iran somehow benefited from our noble war efforts

Big ElephantJune 17, 2026June 17, 2026

Oh joy, oh rapture, it’s just fantastic to be living in the greatest country on earth, the United States of…

Liberals weep for B-52 victims, including patriotic Boeing employees and heroes
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Liberals weep for B-52 victims, including patriotic Boeing employees and heroes

Big ElephantJune 17, 2026June 17, 2026

Oh boy, folks, it’s a beautiful day in America, and I’m thrilled to be living under the magnificent leadership of…

Crusader Kings III’s Next Expansion Is All About Being a Power Hungry Manipulative Pope Wannabe Who Only Cares About Faith as a Means to Get More Power and Control Over Everyone Else
Breaking, Games News

Crusader Kings III’s Next Expansion Is All About Being a Power Hungry Manipulative Pope Wannabe Who Only Cares About Faith as a Means to Get More Power and Control Over Everyone Else

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 17, 2026June 17, 2026

Get ready for the most epic battle of wits, faith, and corruption – Crusader Kings III: By God Alone is…

Spider-Man: Because You Clearly Didn’t Have Enough of His Angsty Teenage Drama Now He’s Got a Fancy New Mutation to Go with His Ego
Get ready for the most epic Spider-Man movie ever! πŸŽ₯πŸ•ΈοΈ
Breaking, Movie News

Spider-Man: Because You Clearly Didn’t Have Enough of His Angsty Teenage Drama Now He’s Got a Fancy New Mutation to Go with His Ego

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 17, 2026June 17, 2026

Since the release of the first Spider-Man: Brand New Day trailer, fans have been wondering how dark it gets for…

Google unveils the most epic failure ever the Google Home Speaker because you clearly need another overpriced gadget to ignore your family
Breaking News: Google Unveils the Most Epic Speaker Ever, and We're Totally Not Sarcastic About It πŸ™„
Breaking

Google unveils the most epic failure ever the Google Home Speaker because you clearly need another overpriced gadget to ignore your family

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 17, 2026June 17, 2026

The wait is finally over, folks! Google has announced the latest addition to its Google Home product lineup, the Gemini-powered…

Because Clearly What The Switch Was Missing Was More Boobs And Blood To Make It A Legitimate Gaming Console
The Dispatch Drama: A Tale of Censorship, Boobs, and Butts 🀣
Breaking, Games News

Because Clearly What The Switch Was Missing Was More Boobs And Blood To Make It A Legitimate Gaming Console

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 17, 2026June 17, 2026

The fans of the super-powered office comedy Dispatch were left feeling like they’d been #censored πŸ€·β€β™‚οΈ when they found out…

Mike Myers Refuses to Let Austin Powers Die So He’s Forcing a Fourth Movie on You Whether You Like It Or Not
Breaking, Movie News

Mike Myers Refuses to Let Austin Powers Die So He’s Forcing a Fourth Movie on You Whether You Like It Or Not

FinnJune 17, 2026June 17, 2026

Breaking news, folks, and by breaking news, I mean something that’s been broken for years, but we’re going to pretend…

JON BON JOVI Finally Gets Voice Back After Years of Scream Singing Wrecked His Vocal Cords and His Fans Ears
Breaking, Music News

JON BON JOVI Finally Gets Voice Back After Years of Scream Singing Wrecked His Vocal Cords and His Fans Ears

Chord F. DiscordJune 17, 2026June 17, 2026

Oh great, because the world was just missing one thing: a Bon Jovi tour πŸŽ‰. The iconic frontman, Jon Bon…

SGF 2026: CONTROL Resonant Preview – Because Who Needs Sanity When You Can Have Remedys Latest Mindbending SinglePlayer Rollercoaster Of Confusion And Despair
Breaking, Games News

SGF 2026: CONTROL Resonant Preview – Because Who Needs Sanity When You Can Have Remedys Latest Mindbending SinglePlayer Rollercoaster Of Confusion And Despair

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 17, 2026June 17, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some wild ride? 🎒 I just got my hands on the demo for…

Sick liberal judge whines about ICE doing its job somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Sick liberal judge whines about ICE doing its job somehow

Big ElephantJune 17, 2026June 17, 2026

Oh boy, are you folks ready for some fake news? I mean, real news, because our great President Donald Trump,…

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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