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Category: Breaking

Pokémon Presents July 2025: Prepare to be Mildly Titillated by Mediocrity & Mega Dragonite’s Disappointing Debut!
Breaking, Games News

Pokémon Presents July 2025: Prepare to be Mildly Titillated by Mediocrity & Mega Dragonite’s Disappointing Debut!

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 22, 2025July 22, 2025

Okay, so the Pokémon Company, bless their cotton socks, decided to grace us with a Summer Pokémon Presents July 2025,…

GWAR’s 40th: Streaming From the Hellmouth (Because VEEPS Pays the Bills)
Breaking, Music News

GWAR’s 40th: Streaming From the Hellmouth (Because VEEPS Pays the Bills)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Behold, feeble humans! Your 👽alien overlords in GWAR, those pioneers of making music that sounds like a garbage truck falling…

Atari and Bandai Namco Team Up to Milking Pac-Man’s Ghostly Corpse for Cash Grab Console and DLC
Breaking, Games News

Atari and Bandai Namco Team Up to Milking Pac-Man’s Ghostly Corpse for Cash Grab Console and DLC

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

**Waka waka waka 🤪! Prepare your wallets, fellow gamers, because Atari and Bandai Namco are BACK, baby, to milk the…

HATEBREED Drops New Banger ‘Make The Demons Obey’ After Half a Decade, Demons Tremble in Fear
Breaking, Music News

HATEBREED Drops New Banger ‘Make The Demons Obey’ After Half a Decade, Demons Tremble in Fear

Chord F. DiscordJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Ah, HATEBREED, those stalwarts of Connecticut hardcore/metal (is there even a difference anymore?🤔), have finally graced us with new music…

Dying Light 2: Stay Bleak – We Played It So You Don’t Have To
Breaking, Games News

Dying Light 2: Stay Bleak – We Played It So You Don’t Have To

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Oh, honey, guess what? I got PAID to hang out in sunny Los Angeles with a bunch of other “journalists”…

GHOST: Apparently People Can’t Follow Simple Instructions, Film Band on Phones Anyway
Breaking, Music News

GHOST: Apparently People Can’t Follow Simple Instructions, Film Band on Phones Anyway

Chord F. DiscordJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

OMG 😱! Some dude filmed GHOST playing “Square Hammer” in Philly on July 19th. Like, who even uses phones anymore?…

Marvel Knew Kang Was a Joke Before ‘Quantumania’ Even Hit Theaters
Breaking, Movie News

Marvel Knew Kang Was a Joke Before ‘Quantumania’ Even Hit Theaters

FinnJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Okay, so remember when Marvel Studios acted like they had a CLUE what they were doing in the early MCU…

Fortnite Accidentally Leaks Crappy Fantastic Four Skins on Twitter, Nobody Cares
Breaking, Games News

Fortnite Accidentally Leaks Crappy Fantastic Four Skins on Twitter, Nobody Cares

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

😂OMG! Fortnite, the game that refuses to die, is collabing with the Fantastic Four? 🙄Seriously? As if we needed more…

WEDNESDAY 13 Proves Funerals Can Be a Blast With New “Rotting Away” Music Video
Breaking, Music News

WEDNESDAY 13 Proves Funerals Can Be a Blast With New “Rotting Away” Music Video

Chord F. DiscordJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Behold! During his totally epic “Summer Blood Storm” European tour (because blood storms are TOTALLY a thing, right? 🙄), Wednesday…

Mike Shinoda: I Had Other Plans For Linkin Park (Like a Reunion Tour with a Hologram Chester)
Breaking, Music News

Mike Shinoda: I Had Other Plans For Linkin Park (Like a Reunion Tour with a Hologram Chester)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 20, 2025July 20, 2025

OMG, you guys! LINKIN PARK, the band that peaked in 2000, is still trying to be relevant! Mike Shinoda, bless…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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