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Category: Breaking

Dave Mustaine’s Delusional Rant: I Basically Invented Metallica, You’re Welcome
Breaking

Dave Mustaine’s Delusional Rant: I Basically Invented Metallica, You’re Welcome

Chord F. DiscordMay 28, 2025May 28, 2025

So, Dave Mustaine, bless his pointy-guitar-loving heart, did another interview. This time, with some ex-Navy SEAL/CIA dude, because, you know,…

MINISTRY Drops New Single ‘I’ll Do Anything For You’ – Are They Finally Covering a Bryan Adams Classic? (Spoiler: No)
Breaking

MINISTRY Drops New Single ‘I’ll Do Anything For You’ – Are They Finally Covering a Bryan Adams Classic? (Spoiler: No)

Chord F. DiscordMay 28, 2025May 28, 2025

Al Jourgensen rocking heart-shaped sunglasses, pigtails, and a shirt proclaiming “I’m Adorable”? 🤣 Yeah, you didn’t misread that. Apparently, someone…

Metallica’s Black Album Goes 20x Platinum While ‘Master Of Puppets’ Still Stuck in the 80s
Breaking

Metallica’s Black Album Goes 20x Platinum While ‘Master Of Puppets’ Still Stuck in the 80s

Chord F. DiscordMay 28, 2025May 28, 2025

OMG! 😱 You won’t BELIEVE this! METALLICA, yes, THOSE guys, have actually managed to sell some records! 💿💿 Apparently, two…

Online Gaming: A Playground for Future Felons
Breaking

Online Gaming: A Playground for Future Felons

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 28, 2025May 28, 2025

Alright gamers, gather ’round because we’re about to dive headfirst into the totally not-scary world of online gaming for kids!…

Pokémon Legends: Z-A Release Date: Prepare for Disappointment and More Useless Pokémon Presents
Breaking

Pokémon Legends: Z-A Release Date: Prepare for Disappointment and More Useless Pokémon Presents

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 28, 2025May 28, 2025

Oh, honey, The Pokémon Company International, bless their hearts 🙄, has FINALLY decided to grace us with the release date…

DOOGEE Phones: From Brick to Chic (But Still a Brick)
Breaking

DOOGEE Phones: From Brick to Chic (But Still a Brick)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 28, 2025May 28, 2025

Okay, so apparently, at GITEX Europe 2025, DOOGEE – yes, DOOGEE – decided to grace us with their presence, showcasing…

‘Our Movie’ K-Drama Drops First Teaser, Prepare to Cringe
Breaking

‘Our Movie’ K-Drama Drops First Teaser, Prepare to Cringe

FinnMay 28, 2025May 28, 2025

OMG 😱 Disney+ is about to drop another K-drama bomb 💣 next month! Get ready for *Our Movie*, starring Namkoong…

F1-coureurs zeiken over Brad Pitts ‘F1’-film: Lovend? Kritisch? Meer ‘mwah’
Breaking

F1-coureurs zeiken over Brad Pitts ‘F1’-film: Lovend? Kritisch? Meer ‘mwah’

FinnMay 27, 2025May 27, 2025

OMG! 🙄 Joseph Kosinski, the genius behind *Top Gun: Maverick* (because we totally needed another one of those 🙄), is…

IN FLAMES Finally Dumps the Dude Behind the Drums, World Rejoices
Breaking

IN FLAMES Finally Dumps the Dude Behind the Drums, World Rejoices

Chord F. DiscordMay 27, 2025May 27, 2025

IN FLAMES, those Swedish purveyors of… uh… *something*, have apparently decided that their drummer, Tanner Wayne, wasn’t quite cutting the…

Papa Roach Dumbs Down a Perfectly Good Song (Again) With Acoustic ‘Even If It Kills Me’ Video
Breaking

Papa Roach Dumbs Down a Perfectly Good Song (Again) With Acoustic ‘Even If It Kills Me’ Video

Chord F. DiscordMay 27, 2025May 27, 2025

California rockers PAPA ROACH, those purveyors of angsty teenage anthems (are they still teenagers?🤔), have graced us with a brand-new…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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