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Category: Breaking

Gaming and Streaming: Because Apparently Gamers Have No Friends IRL
Breaking, Games News

Gaming and Streaming: Because Apparently Gamers Have No Friends IRL

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 16, 2025July 16, 2025

Alright, buckle up, buttercups! 🧈 If you’ve stumbled anywhere near the internet in the last decade (and if you haven’t,…

Pantera Dusts Off Grandma’s Attic: “New” Oldies for “Heaviest Tour (Maybe)” Kickoff in Burgettstown, PA
Breaking, Music News

Pantera Dusts Off Grandma’s Attic: “New” Oldies for “Heaviest Tour (Maybe)” Kickoff in Burgettstown, PA

Chord F. DiscordJuly 16, 2025July 16, 2025

PANTERA (or should we say “Pantera”?) 🙄 kicked off “The Heaviest Tour Of The Summer” Tuesday night (July 15) at…

‘The Legend of Zelda’ Casts Actors Who Will Probably Ruin Your Childhood
Breaking, Movie News

‘The Legend of Zelda’ Casts Actors Who Will Probably Ruin Your Childhood

FinnJuly 16, 2025July 16, 2025

  OMG!😱 The live-action Legend of Zelda is officially happening! But like, is it REALLY a step closer to reality,…

Wes Scantlin of Puddle of Mudd: “I’m, Like, Super Innocent, Okay?”
Breaking, Music News

Wes Scantlin of Puddle of Mudd: “I’m, Like, Super Innocent, Okay?”

Chord F. DiscordJuly 16, 2025July 16, 2025

So, apparently, our favorite trainwreck, Wes Scantlin of PUDDLE OF MUDD (or should we say Puddle *OF* Mud, because, you…

Bruce Dickinson Tries To Polish A Turd With ‘Reimagined’ ‘Cyclops’ From ‘More Balls Than Brains’ Album
Breaking, Music News

Bruce Dickinson Tries To Polish A Turd With ‘Reimagined’ ‘Cyclops’ From ‘More Balls Than Brains’ Album

Chord F. DiscordJuly 16, 2025July 16, 2025

Behold, peasants! IRON MAIDEN’s very own air raid siren, Bruce Dickinson, is gracing us with a re-release of his 1994…

‘Stranger Things’ Season 5 Trailer: Prepare for Disappointment
Breaking, Movie News

‘Stranger Things’ Season 5 Trailer: Prepare for Disappointment

FinnJuly 16, 2025July 16, 2025

Okay, so like, apparently some people are still obsessed with Stranger Things? 🙄 Get ready, kiddos, because the final season…

SOiL to FINALLY Bless Our Ears with New Tunes…in 2025 LOL
Breaking, Music News

SOiL to FINALLY Bless Our Ears with New Tunes…in 2025 LOL

Chord F. DiscordJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

In a groundbreaking interview with Chicago’s cutting-edge Rebel Radio 92.5 FM, SOIL bassist and supreme overlord Tim King, blessed us…

‘Harry Potter’ Shows Off Discount Hagrid From Wish
Breaking, Movie News

‘Harry Potter’ Shows Off Discount Hagrid From Wish

FinnJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

OMG! 🙄 HBO Just Dropped a Hagrid Bomb and the Internet is Officially Imploding! 🔥 Prepare yourselves, Potterheads, because your…

CALEB SHOMO Boasts He’s Got a Whole ALBUM in His PANTS (Not What You Think)
Breaking, Music News

CALEB SHOMO Boasts He’s Got a Whole ALBUM in His PANTS (Not What You Think)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

In a groundbreaking interview with Elwood from the prestigious 95 WIIL Rock radio station, BEARTOOTH’s very own Caleb Shomo, in…

Atomic Heart 2: Electric Boogaloo of Botched Bolshevik Bots and Boomsticks
Breaking, Games News

Atomic Heart 2: Electric Boogaloo of Botched Bolshevik Bots and Boomsticks

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

Okay, gamers, listen up! Atomic Heart was like that one weird dream you had after eating too much borscht and…

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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