DORO, Queen of Leather & Surprisingly Buoyant Seafaring Anthems, Drops New Banger This Friday (Prepare to Be Seasick)
Okay, so apparently the “Metal Queen” Doro Pesch (who?) is dropping a new single called “Warriors Of The Sea” this…
Category: Breaking
Lies of P: Overture – We Played It So You Don’t Have To (But You Will Anyway, You Pinocchio Simps)
When I first glimpsed the trailer for Lies of P: Overture, my reaction was a symphony of *meh*. Seriously, where’s…
Lou Koller FINALLY Admits He’s Not Dying (For Now)
Alright, listen up, ya bunch of whiny internet trolls! Lou Koller, the screechy frontman of those geriatric hardcore legends, SICK…
Disturbed Finds 110,897 People Who Still Own CD Players on “The Sickness” Victory Lap
Alright, metalheads and casual listeners (we see you!), let’s talk about DISTURBED and their groundbreaking, earth-shattering, life-altering (yeah, right) “The…
Katy Perry’s Atomic Meltdown: Did a Fan Just Witness the Birth of Roar 2024?
Breaking News! Katy Perry, bless her heart (and her ticket sales), has apparently forgotten what a microphone is for and…
Breaking News: Two Guys You Barely Remember From Anthrax Sing A Song You’ve Heard A Million Times
OMG! 😱 You will NOT believe what happened! Former ANTHRAX singers John Bush (you know, the guy who WASN’T Joey…
Oh GREAT, Another ‘Gears of War’ Movie, Just What the World Needed
Netflix, in its infinite wisdom (or lack thereof), is STILL trying to make a ‘Gears of War’ movie happen. 🙄…
Stellar Blade 2: Electric Boogaloo Confirmed (Mostly, Kinda, Maybe, Ask Your Accountant)
BREAKING: Shift Up, Creators of the Game That Shall Not Be Named (Unless You’re Into That Sort of Thing), Confirm…
STU BLOCK Begs BARLOW to Save ICED EARTH From Eternal Awkwardness
Breaking News! Former ICED EARTH throat-warbler Stu Block, the guy who left faster than Jon Schaffer could say “QAnon,” apparently…
Borderlands 4: Give Us All Your Money, You Pathetic Vault Hunter
So, apparently, some whiny “fans” are clutching their wallets tighter than a goblin guarding its gold because *Borderlands 4* might…