LEFT TO DIE Says Talked About Making Music: ‘That Would Be Great’ Says RICK ROZZ
Oh, you didn’t know? Death metal’s back, and it’s brought a casket of nostalgia, a few riffs, and absolutely zero…
Category: Breaking
Minneapolis Somalis Say They’re Being Harassed, Threatened and Forced Out of Empty Businesses After Fraud Allegations Video
Oh, the Left’s new favorite victim: innocent Somali business owners in Minnesota, who’ve suddenly become the target of a nationwide…
When Eleven Becomes a Netflix Stock Tip: The Real End of Stranger Things
🚨BREAKING NEWS: ELEVEN FROM STRANGER THINGS IS *DEFINITELY* ALIVE (OR MAYBE NOT, WHO KNOWS, WE’RE ALL JUST LOST SOULS DRIFTING…
MORTAL SIN’s MAT MAURER Confirms New Music: ‘It’s Been Discussed’ (Translation: ‘We’ve Talked About It Over Beer’)
🚨 BREAKING: Mortal Sin Announces 2026 Return — Because Apparently 15 Years of Peace Wasn’t Enough 🚨 In a move…
From Amazon Prime to Guantanamo Express: How Uncle Sam Got His Hands on Maduro
Trump’s Midnight Raid: How the ‘Adults’ Got Played by a Reality TV Star in a Gold Bathroom In a move…
Analysis: Was Maduro’s Abduction Legal? Or Did He Just Forget to Pay His Parking Ticket?
President Donald Trump, in a move that has Democrats screaming like wounded hyenas, launched a “large scale strike” against Venezuela…
Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News
To the glorious readers of «Jackal Today»! We, the editorial team, have spent this entire godforsaken year grinding 24/7 just…
5 Things You Definitely Didn’t Forget on New Year’s Eve (Because You Were Too Busy Panic-Eating and Swiping Left) | CNN
Another Day of Liberal Lunacy and Globalist Shenanigans: 2025’s Last Gasps Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit—here…
CANNIBAL CORPSE’s ALEX WEBSTER Claims Death Metal Is Basically SLAYER’s Unhinged Lovechild
When Death Metal Was Just Dad’s Old Rock Records and a Dream 😈🎸 Back in the day, before streaming algorithms…
Trump Vetoing Bills Like It’s 2016: First Vetoes of Second Term Bring Back the Good Old Days
Trump Just Nuked Two Deep State Infrastructure Bills—And the Libs Are Losing Their Minds In a stunning display of fiscal…