John Petrucci Says Dream Theater and Fans Are BFFs, Because Apparently Prog Rock Needs a Group Chat
🎸 In a stunning turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming (except everyone with ears and a calendar),…
Category: Breaking
The Feds Are Investigating Campus Safety After a Mass Shooting Because Apparently That’s the Time to Figure Out Guns Are Bad
Woke Ivy League Meltdown: Brown University’s Security is as Soft as Their Marxist Curriculum After Latest Campus Massacre In a…
Supreme Court Just Said No to Trump’s National Guard Parade in Chicago and He’s Not Happy About It
Supreme Court Slaps Down Trump’s Chicago ICE Protection Plan, Claims ‘Regular Forces’ Don’t Mean ‘Regular Agents’ In a stunning act…
Residents of Pennsylvania nursing home discover new escape route—thanks to a surprise explosion, authorities confirm
Ambulance Chasers and Climate Alarmists Rejoice: Pennsylvania Nursing Home Fire Sparks Latest Leftist Propaganda Campaign BREAKING: The radical left’s favorite…
How to Monetize Your Players’ Existential Dread: A Guide to the 20-Hour Grind
Attention, gamers! The industry is collapsing under the unbearable weight of its own epicness! 🚨 In a stunning turn of…
Watch Jessica Chastain and Isaác Hernández in the trailer for Dreams (Spoiler: It’s Not a Netflix Show About Sleepwalking)
Hold onto your tamales, folks, because Jessica Chastain just decided to trade in her Oscar for a one-way ticket to…
Epstein Survivor Declares We Are Not Imaginary, Despite What the Conspiracy Theorists Say
Epstein Survivor Claims She’s Not a Hoax: The Left’s Latest Victim Narrative Exposed In a stunning display of what can…
GDP Report Shows US Economy Sped Up Like It Just Chugged a Red Bull
Trump’s America Just Dropped an Economic Bombshell—Leftists Are Fuming In a stunning blow to the liberal narrative, the U.S. economy…
TOBIAS FORGE Finally Explains Where GHOST Gets All Its Cool Ghost Stories (Spoiler: Not From His Grandma)
Move over, Shakespeare — there’s a new drama king in town, and he’s wearing a papal robe, face paint, and…
Chris Evans Is Back and So Is Our Will to Live, Apparently
🚨 BREAKING: Marvel Announces ‘Avengers: Doomsday’ – Because Apparently, Retirement Is Just a Suggestion, Not a Commitment 🚨 In a…