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Category: Breaking

South Park Owners Sued Over Restaurant Working Conditions Apparently Not Funny
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

South Park Owners Sued Over Restaurant Working Conditions Apparently Not Funny

Big ElephantJuly 5, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. So, it turns out that actress Brooke Shields made a reservation…

Pelosi’s Husband Somehow Manages to Find Trouble in California Again
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Pelosi’s Husband Somehow Manages to Find Trouble in California Again

Big ElephantJuly 4, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about Paul Pelosi, the 86-year-old husband of former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, who…

Frosthaven Finally Escapes Endless Early Access Purgatory
Breaking, Games News

Frosthaven Finally Escapes Endless Early Access Purgatory

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 4, 2026July 4, 2026

Because apparently we haven’t milked this franchise enough yet, the iconic board game FROSTHAVEN now has an official release date…

Because What Games Need Is Overpriced Concerts Now
Breaking, Games News

Because What Games Need Is Overpriced Concerts Now

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 4, 2026July 4, 2026

Because apparently we haven’t milked this franchise enough yet, Game Science is taking the Black Myth: Wukong show on the…

Metallica Saves Venezuela With Pocket Change
Breaking, Music News

Metallica Saves Venezuela With Pocket Change

Chord F. DiscordJuly 4, 2026July 4, 2026

Breaking news: METALLICA’s charitable foundation, All Within My Hands, is donating a whopping $100,000 to earthquake relief efforts in Venezuela,…

GODSMACK Still Exists Somehow With New Drummer Mike Mangini
Breaking, Music News

GODSMACK Still Exists Somehow With New Drummer Mike Mangini

Chord F. DiscordJuly 4, 2026July 4, 2026

I just spilled my beer all over my desk because I’m so shocked by the latest news from the GODSMACK…

KISS Dynasties Unite Because You Clearly Needed More Simmons In Your Life
Breaking, Music News

KISS Dynasties Unite Because You Clearly Needed More Simmons In Your Life

Chord F. DiscordJuly 4, 2026July 4, 2026

I just spilled my beer all over my black jeans because I’m so excited to share this earth-shattering news with…

Another Original Title Project Hail Mary Hits Amazon Streaming
Breaking, Movie News

Another Original Title Project Hail Mary Hits Amazon Streaming

FinnJuly 4, 2026July 4, 2026

Project Hail Mary is finally making its way to streaming, because what’s a blockbuster sci-fi movie without being available on…

XBOX Cuts Jobs Because Sequels Not Profitable Enough Yet Somehow
Breaking, Games News

XBOX Cuts Jobs Because Sequels Not Profitable Enough Yet Somehow

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 4, 2026July 4, 2026

Oh joy, another day in the wonderful world of corporate shenanigans and potential studio closures. Because apparently we haven’t milked…

Because We Needed Another Heaven Game Apparently
Breaking, Games News

Because We Needed Another Heaven Game Apparently

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 4, 2026July 4, 2026

Well, well, well, what do we have here? Another game to add to the ever-growing pile of “it’s like Dark…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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