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Category: Breaking

Vampire Crawlers: Yet Another Poncle Game Announced (Yawn) at the Xbox Partner Preview
Breaking, Games News

Vampire Crawlers: Yet Another Poncle Game Announced (Yawn) at the Xbox Partner Preview

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 20, 2025November 20, 2025

Okay, so Poncle, the geniuses 🤡 behind the *totally* original game Vampire Survivors (which definitely didn’t borrow from anything else…

Vance Begs for ‘Patience’ on Economy, Hilariously Backpedaling from Trump’s MAGA Fantasies
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Vance Begs for ‘Patience’ on Economy, Hilariously Backpedaling from Trump’s MAGA Fantasies

Big ElephantNovember 20, 2025November 20, 2025

JD Vance, bless his heart, is out there trying to spin the latest fake news from the liberal media. Seems…

Trump’s master plan: Ukraine gives up land, army becomes a mime troupe
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s master plan: Ukraine gives up land, army becomes a mime troupe

Big ElephantNovember 20, 2025November 20, 2025

Another day, another attempt by the Fake News CNN to undermine our glorious President Trump! They’re peddling a “peace plan”…

Chris Murphy Wonders If Trump’s Ego Too Fragile To Handle Epstein File Humiliation | CNN
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Chris Murphy Wonders If Trump’s Ego Too Fragile To Handle Epstein File Humiliation | CNN

Big ElephantNovember 20, 2025November 20, 2025

Oh, the horror! Senator Cryin’ Chris Murphy is clutching his pearls again, terrified that the Epstein files might tarnish his…

“I Have Reservations,” Said No Epstein Survivor Ever, Reacting to Trump Finally Doing Something Right for Once | CNN (Satire)
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

“I Have Reservations,” Said No Epstein Survivor Ever, Reacting to Trump Finally Doing Something Right for Once | CNN (Satire)

Big ElephantNovember 20, 2025November 20, 2025

Oh, the delicate snowflakes at CNN are at it again! Apparently, if you don’t trust your coworker, it’s just a…

Fortnite Next Season: Quentin Tarantino’s Unfinished Symphony of Destruction (Probably With More Dancing)
Breaking, Games News

Fortnite Next Season: Quentin Tarantino’s Unfinished Symphony of Destruction (Probably With More Dancing)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 20, 2025November 20, 2025

🤡 Hold onto your hats, folks, because the cinematic masterpiece that is Kill Bill is about to get the Fortnite…

Boogie Nights in 4K: Because You Haven’t Seen Enough Fake Penises
Breaking, Movie News

Boogie Nights in 4K: Because You Haven’t Seen Enough Fake Penises

FinnNovember 20, 2025November 20, 2025

Wow, hold onto your hats, folks! Boogie Nights, that cinematic masterpiece (or, you know, just a movie) from 1997 by…

The Hunger Games: Sunrise on the Reaping Gets a Teaser Trailer (Finally, Something to Distract Us From Reality)
Breaking, Movie News

The Hunger Games: Sunrise on the Reaping Gets a Teaser Trailer (Finally, Something to Distract Us From Reality)

FinnNovember 20, 2025November 20, 2025

Oh, great, another Hunger Games movie 🙄. Because we *totally* needed more dystopian teen angst in our lives. Lionsgate, bless…

Ulver Just Dropped a ‘Neverland’ Album and a Single Called ‘Weeping Stone’ – Prepare for Maximum Existential Dread
Breaking, Music News

Ulver Just Dropped a ‘Neverland’ Album and a Single Called ‘Weeping Stone’ – Prepare for Maximum Existential Dread

Chord F. DiscordNovember 20, 2025November 20, 2025

ULVER, those lovable trolls from Norway 🇳🇴, are gracing us with “Weeping Stone”, a single so profound it’ll make you…

Trump Threatens to Unleash the Kraken (aka Fire Bessent) if Fed Doesn’t Obey His Royal Interest Rate Demands
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Threatens to Unleash the Kraken (aka Fire Bessent) if Fed Doesn’t Obey His Royal Interest Rate Demands

Big ElephantNovember 20, 2025November 20, 2025

Fake News CNN is at it again, twisting President Trump’s words! Our glorious leader, in his infinite wisdom, is just…

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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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