Steam Machine Users Delighted by New Red glow of Impending Doom
Oh joy, another hardware launch, another chance for our favorite companies to disappoint us with subpar quality control. The Steam…
Category: Breaking
TESLA too lazy to make new music
OH NO, TESLA FANS REJOICE: Dave Rude Says Full-Length Album of New Music Might Not Happen, But Who Needs That…
Nation’s Birthday Now Sponsored By Ego and Explosions
Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems President Trump is gearing up for a record-breaking fireworks…
US Warns Iran About Israel’s Itchy Trigger Finger Again
I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest drama between the US, Israel, and Iran, and folks, it’s a…
Reflecting Pool Gets Annual Muck Removal Because Nature
I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest drama surrounding the Reflecting Pool on the National Mall, and folks,…
Founding Father Takes Break From Revolution For Retail Therapy
As I sipped my coffee and read about the events of July 4, 1776, I couldn’t help but chuckle at…
Grandpa’s Sidewalk Empire Takes Nation By Storm
Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A 78-year-old cardiologist and local politician, Gary Miller, has become an…
Democrats Somehow Manage To Show Up And Vote This Time Around
Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. According to CNN, this year’s primary turnout is showing that Democrats…
Empire State Building’s Impenetrable Fortress Breached Again With Ease Apparently
Well, folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A daredevil couple, Angelina Nikolau and Ivan Kuznetsov, decided to…
Tibetan Flag Waver Sets Self Ablaze Outside UN Headquarters
Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A man holding a Tibetan flag set himself on fire outside…