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Category: Breaking

DETHKLOK’s Concert In Milwaukee Cut Short Because Who Needs That Much Eyeliner Anyway And Also The Fire Alarms Went Off From All The Pretentiousness
Breaking, Music News

DETHKLOK’s Concert In Milwaukee Cut Short Because Who Needs That Much Eyeliner Anyway And Also The Fire Alarms Went Off From All The Pretentiousness

Chord F. DiscordMay 17, 2026May 17, 2026

Oh boy, what a night it was! 🤣 The infamous DETHKLOK concert on Saturday, May 16 at Landmark Credit Union…

Get Ready for EVE Online’s Next Soul Crushing Expansion, Because You Clearly Haven’t Had Enough of Losing Your Spaceships Yet
Breaking, Games News

Get Ready for EVE Online’s Next Soul Crushing Expansion, Because You Clearly Haven’t Had Enough of Losing Your Spaceships Yet

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 17, 2026May 17, 2026

Get ready for the most epic battle in the history of New Eden, folks! 🚀👽 The next big expansion for…

Oh Please Russia’s Our Pal Not The Enemy Duh
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Oh Please Russia’s Our Pal Not The Enemy Duh

Big ElephantMay 17, 2026May 17, 2026

The so-called “news” outlets are at it again, folks, trying to tearing down our great nation and our magnificent President,…

THE KOVENANT’s NAGASH: We’ve Managed to Write Like Five Songs Without Losing Interest
Breaking, Music News

THE KOVENANT’s NAGASH: We’ve Managed to Write Like Five Songs Without Losing Interest

Chord F. DiscordMay 17, 2026May 17, 2026

The wait is finally over, folks! 🎉🔥 THE KOVENANT is back, and they’re not just playing the same old songs…

Feds should just shut up already and let Trump lead
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Feds should just shut up already and let Trump lead

Big ElephantMay 17, 2026May 17, 2026

It’s hilarious to see the fake news media still trying to spin their lies and misinformation about our great President…

Who cares about Edna Lewis and her soul food nonsense anyway
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Who cares about Edna Lewis and her soul food nonsense anyway

Big ElephantMay 17, 2026May 17, 2026

It’s just another day in the swamp that is Washington D.C., where the fake news media and the deep state…

Loser Sherrod Brown tries to steal Senate for Dem losers
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Loser Sherrod Brown tries to steal Senate for Dem losers

Big ElephantMay 17, 2026May 17, 2026

It’s absolutely hilarious that the fake news media is still trying to peddle their pathetic narrative about the so-called “importance”…

APOCALYPTICA’s EICCA TOPPINEN Loses All Credibility By Claiming METALLICA’s ‘St Anger’ Is Actually Listenable
Breaking News: Eicca Toppinen of Apocalyptica Thinks St. Anger is a Great Album, and We're All Just Wrong 🤯
Breaking, Music News

APOCALYPTICA’s EICCA TOPPINEN Loses All Credibility By Claiming METALLICA’s ‘St Anger’ Is Actually Listenable

Chord F. DiscordMay 16, 2026May 16, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, Eicca Toppinen, the cellist from Apocalyptica, has come out and said that Metallica’s infamous…

The Most Epic and Life Changing ‘Mandalorian and Grogu’ Reviews Just Dropped and Your Mind Will Be Blown Forever
Breaking, Movie News

The Most Epic and Life Changing ‘Mandalorian and Grogu’ Reviews Just Dropped and Your Mind Will Be Blown Forever

FinnMay 16, 2026May 16, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some epic news? 🚀👽 For the first time in seven years, there’s a…

EVE FanFest 2026: Because You Clearly Didn’t Have Enough Space Drama In Your Life, EVE Frontier’s Cycle 6 Is Coming To Ruin Your Social Life On June 25
Breaking, Events, Games News

EVE FanFest 2026: Because You Clearly Didn’t Have Enough Space Drama In Your Life, EVE Frontier’s Cycle 6 Is Coming To Ruin Your Social Life On June 25

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 16, 2026May 16, 2026

EVE Frontier, the game that will make you question your life choices and wonder why you’re still playing at 3…

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Latest posts

  • Tekken 8 Now Ruined by Yujiro Hanma from Baki Because Who Needs Actual Tekken Characters Anyway and Also Harada Still Can’t Get Over His Waffle House Trauma
  • SEVENDUST’s LAJON WITHERSPOON Reveals Shocking Truth: We’re All Just A Bunch Of Equally Important Dudes With Beards And Guitar Riffs Who Can’t Decide On Anything
  • Simplification des Réglementations et de la Fiscalité pour les Gens qui Aiment se Faire Mal au Cerveau avec des Tas de Papierasserie
  • Dying Fetus at Maryland Deathfest 2026 (05/24/2026, Day 4)
  • Cephalic Carnage at Maryland Deathfest 2026 (05/24/2026, Day 4)

Editorial
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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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