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Category: Breaking

House greenlights Iran war funds because diplomacy is overrated
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

House greenlights Iran war funds because diplomacy is overrated

Big ElephantJuly 22, 2026

The House of Representatives has taken the first step towards funding President Donald Trump’s war with Iran, and I’m sipping…

Senate Still Somehow Struggles With Russia Sanctions Bill
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Senate Still Somehow Struggles With Russia Sanctions Bill

Big ElephantJuly 22, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The bipartisan Russia sanctions bill that GOP Sen. Lindsey Graham championed…

New Jersey spills some beans not all of them apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

New Jersey spills some beans not all of them apparently

Big ElephantJuly 22, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about New Jersey Gov. Mikie Sherrill’s disclosure that a software glitch added 6,600…

Modern Warfare 4 Cranks Up The Carnage With Gritty Rebooted Gameplay
Breaking, Games News

Modern Warfare 4 Cranks Up The Carnage With Gritty Rebooted Gameplay

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 22, 2026July 22, 2026

At Fanatics Fest 2026, I had the chance to get my hands on Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 4 and…

Nolan Wells Gets Autopsy Results Because That’s How Death Works
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Nolan Wells Gets Autopsy Results Because That’s How Death Works

Big ElephantJuly 22, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest news, and I have to say, this one’s got me…

More Remakes and Sequels to Binge on Streaming This Weekend Apparently
Breaking, Movie News

More Remakes and Sequels to Binge on Streaming This Weekend Apparently

FinnJuly 22, 2026July 22, 2026

The weekend is upon us, and you know what that means – a slew of new movies to stream from…

More Stuff To Forget Exists on Netflix in August 2026 Apparently
Breaking, Movie News

More Stuff To Forget Exists on Netflix in August 2026 Apparently

FinnJuly 22, 2026July 22, 2026

Ah, August. The month where Hollywood used to dump all its unwanted trash, hoping to avoid the shame of releasing…

Robbie Williams Emerges from Retirement Again Apparently
Breaking, Music News

Robbie Williams Emerges from Retirement Again Apparently

Chord F. DiscordJuly 22, 2026July 22, 2026

Robbie Williams, the man who refuses to let his pop throne collect dust, has announced two massive live shows for…

Mariah Carey’s Daydream turns thirty because farewell tours take forever
Breaking, Music News

Mariah Carey’s Daydream turns thirty because farewell tours take forever

Chord F. DiscordJuly 22, 2026July 22, 2026

Columbia Records and Legacy Recordings are celebrating the 30th anniversary of Mariah Carey’s landmark album Daydream. Because, you know, 30…

Deadpool resurrected again to milk franchise cash cow once more
Breaking, Movie News

Deadpool resurrected again to milk franchise cash cow once more

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 22, 2026July 22, 2026

Because the world was just missing one thing: more Deadpool. Actor/director Ryan Reynolds, the king of breaking the fourth wall,…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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