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Category: Breaking

Cyberpunk Edgerunners 2 Because You Clearly Needed More
Breaking, Games News

Cyberpunk Edgerunners 2 Because You Clearly Needed More

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 29, 2026June 29, 2026

Oh joy, another season of Cyberpunk: Edgerunners, because apparently we haven’t milked this franchise enough yet. Netflix has dropped the…

Wow, Gamers Still Find Stuff on Phones Somehow in 2026
Breaking, Games News

Wow, Gamers Still Find Stuff on Phones Somehow in 2026

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 29, 2026June 29, 2026

Oh joy, mobile users are discovering new apps and games in all sorts of exciting ways, because apparently we haven’t…

Alien Isolation 2: Because One Traumatizing Experience Wasnt Enough Apparently
Breaking, Games News

Alien Isolation 2: Because One Traumatizing Experience Wasnt Enough Apparently

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 29, 2026June 29, 2026

It’s been over a decade since Alien: Isolation first traumatized gamers with its masterclass in tension and terror, and now…

You Won’t Believe What Happened to This Pro Trans Lawmaker
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

You Won’t Believe What Happened to This Pro Trans Lawmaker

Big ElephantJune 29, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about California state Sen. Scott Wiener, who got surrounded by protesters at San…

Another Classic Tale Ruined by Hollywood’s Desperation for New Content
Breaking, Movie News

Another Classic Tale Ruined by Hollywood’s Desperation for New Content

FinnJune 29, 2026June 29, 2026

Aaron Taylor-Johnson is set to terrify audiences in Robert Eggers’ new horror film, Werwulf. The trailer has been released, and…

Murder Mayhem Hits Mississippi Whoa
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Murder Mayhem Hits Mississippi Whoa

Big ElephantJune 29, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about a downright terrifying story coming out of Mississippi. Authorities have launched a…

Elites Flock to Private Clubs in London and New York apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Elites Flock to Private Clubs in London and New York apparently

Big ElephantJune 29, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my morning coffee and reading about the latest trend in London and New York, where private members…

Blaze Bayley desperate to crash Iron Maiden’s Hall of Fame party
Breaking, Music News

Blaze Bayley desperate to crash Iron Maiden’s Hall of Fame party

Chord F. DiscordJune 29, 2026June 29, 2026

Oh boy, you guys, it’s finally happening! Former IRON MAIDEN singer Blaze Bayley is going to be inducted into the…

The Proclaimers return because the farewell tour was just a warmup apparently
Breaking, Music News

The Proclaimers return because the farewell tour was just a warmup apparently

Chord F. DiscordJune 29, 2026June 29, 2026

Because apparently retirement is just a suggestion, The Proclaimers are back with a new album, because who needs a break…

PS6 To Cost An Arm And A Leg Apparently
Breaking, Games News

PS6 To Cost An Arm And A Leg Apparently

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 29, 2026June 29, 2026

Oh joy, another opportunity for Sony to empty our wallets with the upcoming PlayStation 6, which might just cost a…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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