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Category: Breaking

Sparklers and Suspects: The Firework Firm That Lit Up the Plot!
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Sparklers and Suspects: The Firework Firm That Lit Up the Plot!

Big ElephantMarch 21, 2026March 21, 2026

Who needs ISIS when you’ve got Phantom Fireworks? Terrorist Shoppers Caught Red-Handed! Just when you thought it was safe to…

Oh, look, Minneapolis is now a trauma spa for immigrants, thanks to that lovely “surge” — because nothing says “welcome to America” like PTSD in the classroom!
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Oh, look, Minneapolis is now a trauma spa for immigrants, thanks to that lovely “surge” — because nothing says “welcome to America” like PTSD in the classroom!

Big ElephantMarch 21, 2026March 21, 2026

Minneapolis Students in Crisis as ICE Agents Invade Schools! Liberal Minneapolis is melting down as ICE agents swoop in on…

Marvel Fans Can Now Drop $16,000 on a Shiny Infinity Gauntlet Replica Because Why Not?
Breaking, Movie News

Marvel Fans Can Now Drop $16,000 on a Shiny Infinity Gauntlet Replica Because Why Not?

FinnMarch 21, 2026March 21, 2026

Congratulations! You’re One Step Closer to Universal Domination (for Just $16,129.99) What, you thought the power to control the universe…

ABC’s Epic Fail: How Much Cash They’re Flushing by Skipping ‘Bachelorette’ Season 22 and Making Us All Sad
Breaking, Movie News

ABC’s Epic Fail: How Much Cash They’re Flushing by Skipping ‘Bachelorette’ Season 22 and Making Us All Sad

FinnMarch 21, 2026March 21, 2026

Hold on to your artisanal rosé, folks — ABC just learned the hard way that reality TV drama comes with…

Take That drop latest earworm to make fans cry with joy or despair
Breaking, Music News

Take That drop latest earworm to make fans cry with joy or despair

Chord F. DiscordMarch 21, 2026March 21, 2026

Take That are back to remind us they exist with their latest single, You’re A Superstar, because apparently 2023’s This…

NASHVILLE PUSSY RETURNS WITH ’10 INCHES OF PUSSY SEASON 1′ EP AFTER EIGHT YEARS OF QUIETUDE
Breaking, Music News

NASHVILLE PUSSY RETURNS WITH ’10 INCHES OF PUSSY SEASON 1′ EP AFTER EIGHT YEARS OF QUIETUDE

Chord F. DiscordMarch 21, 2026March 21, 2026

Oh, look! Nashville Pussy’s back from their eight-year nap with a shiny new EP! 🍆💅 And before you ask, no,…

Claiming New Tax Breaks for Tips, Overtime, Seniors or Car Loan Interest? Mind the Fine Print… or Don’t, I’m Not Your Dad
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Claiming New Tax Breaks for Tips, Overtime, Seniors or Car Loan Interest? Mind the Fine Print… or Don’t, I’m Not Your Dad

Big ElephantMarch 21, 2026March 21, 2026

Wait, Big Government’s Tax ‘Breaks’ Aren’t Actually Free Money? So all those glorious tax deductions President Trump promised for tips,…

20 US Airports Defy TSA: No Lines, No Drama, Just Freedom (and Maybe Some Anarchy)
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

20 US Airports Defy TSA: No Lines, No Drama, Just Freedom (and Maybe Some Anarchy)

Big ElephantMarch 21, 2026March 21, 2026

While some major airports are struggling with long security lines due to the government shutdown, a select few are cruising…

MAGA’s SAVE America Act: So Important They’re Screaming It From the Rooftops… Poll Says No One’s Listening
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

MAGA’s SAVE America Act: So Important They’re Screaming It From the Rooftops… Poll Says No One’s Listening

Big ElephantMarch 21, 2026March 21, 2026

Just 28% Support “SAVE America Act” Despite GOP Hype The Republican Party’s emergency over the “SAVE America Act” might be…

20 US Airports Don’t Have TSA. Passengers There Are Living the Dream While the Rest of Us Suffer in Line
SHUTDOWN SPECTACLE: PRIVATE SCREENERS SHINE AS TSA TUMBLES!
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

20 US Airports Don’t Have TSA. Passengers There Are Living the Dream While the Rest of Us Suffer in Line

Big ElephantMarch 21, 2026March 21, 2026

In a shocking turn of events that’s got the Deep State trembling, 20 airports across America are laughing all the…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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