Oh Joy Another Remake of Dracula Because the World Was Just Missing a Vampire with a Bad Hairdo in Glorious 4K
The most epic news ever: Dracula is back, and he’s still Got It! 💉👻 I mean, who needs a social…
Category: Breaking
Pet Shop Boys back for another farewell not really
Pet Shop Boys have announced A Man From The Future – a new eight-track album created in collaboration with Alan…
Trump Scrambles as Labor Day Gas Prices Hit Record Highs Somehow
Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. According to CNN, Americans are likely to face the highest Labor…
Lindsay Clancy Jury Still Deliberating Because Justice Is Slow
Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the Lindsay Clancy case, and let me tell you, it’s a real…
Bond Rout Brings Mixed Bag Of Financial Emotions
Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Rising bond yields have been causing quite the commotion among investors…
Nation Braces for Underwhelming Jobs Report Again
Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The August jobs report is due out at 8:30 a.m. ET…
Vance Parrots Trump’s Totally Made-Up $19 Trillion Investment Claim
Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest from the White House, and I just can’t help but…
Judge Assures Court She’s Not The Lorax Somehow
I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest drama surrounding President Trump’s plan to turn a public golf course…
Rikki Rockett Still Alive Somehow After Beating Cancer
In a stunning turn of events, POISON drummer Rikki Rockett has revealed that he’s still kicking after being diagnosed with…
Vance Defines War Down To Avoid Timeline
Folks, I’m sitting here with my coffee, reading about Vice President JD Vance’s latest press conference, and I’ve got to…